THE BIG DAY

Yesterday, Monday, was really the BIG day! In the morning, Patrick went off with Loan to apply for Tam's passport. During this trip, Loan let us know that the G&R would be scheduled for Tuesday, but the time was unknown, so we should be available all day. At noon, we boarded a small bus for the 90 minute ride out to the orphanage. Just before we got on the bus, Dr. Hong told the families that we would be having our G&R on the way back from the orphanage! This was going to be a LONG day. There were 3 families going to the orphanage together, including us, and there were 9 adults and 3 kids between us. What a difference from our private trip to pick up Anh two years ago.

I hardly recognized anything on the trip until we got almost right to the orphanage and then I remembered that last bend in the road. Everything was pretty chaotic when we first arrived. Tam was handed to me, but she wouldn't let go of her nannies. Unlike Anh, who was so laid back about the whole process, Tam wouldn't let either of us touch her at all for the first 20 minutes. The nannies bathed and changed her into her new dress for us and then tried again to hand her to us. Well, it turns out that Tam is VERY independent! She was walking around from room to room sitting with all the different nannies and playing with all the babies. When she would finally let me pick her up, she didn't want to be held for more than a couple of minutes before she needed to be running around again. I think we are going to have our hands full :-)

All of the nannies and the orphanage director seemed to be happy to see Anh. They were all thrilled that he was a Ba Vi baby, although I don't think anyone really remembered him. Of course, he spent much of his time in Vientam with a foster family, so it is not surprising that they don't remember. For his part, Anh was very reserved and wouldn't let any of the nannies touch him. He even was afraid of Dr. Hong, who he has been looking forward to seeing for months! He was, however, quite concerned about always being together with Tam. Whenever she would walk away, he would insist on following her and he was very attached to the fact that she is his sister (although he keeps insisting that he is Tam's older *sister*)

On the van ride back, we had our first leaky diaper - all over me. Thank you Asian diapers (and these were huggies). No matter, as it turns out, Tam is almost the same size as Anh, so I can get rid of all the new diapers I bought. Once we had the right size diaper on her, all was well (although my nice G&R clothes were still all wet). Anh thought it was very cool to be able to share his diapers with Tam and once she was dry again, he decided that she should sit on his lap, since she is his baby.

The G&R was held with 2 families from Ba Vi and 4 families from Dong Anh who had picked up their babies in the morning. The babies were all doing quite well and the only disturbances came from Anh, who decided that this was finally his stage. He became so animated and did his best to tell anyone who would listen about his trip to pick up Tam.

It was at the point of leaving the G&R that everything started to fall apart. I was holding Tam and she started screaming bloody murder. The only thing that would calm her was to be held by her nannies. Every time they would put her back in my arms she would start wailing again. It was incredibly sad because it seemed that she was distraught about being taken away from her home. My heart was breaking for this little girl who was being ripped away from her home where she was queen bee to go with these strange looking people to some unknown place. It was definitely clear to me that she was suffering immense loss. And of course, as soon as we all got back into the bus, Tam's screaming set off all the other babies. They were all only calmed when Dr. Hong took Tam so she could settle down. Now I know what it is like to be in a bus full of wailing babies.

Luckily, Tam seemed to be calm with Patrick, so when we arrived at the hotel (at 7pm), he took her straight up to our room. The happy ending to the day was that she was very happy back in the room. She is curious and smart and adores her brother! They played so nicely together and Anh is just the best big brother. Tam immediately found Anh's new puzzle and tried to put it together (she was doing pretty well, too) and when she had a little trouble, she called for Anh and he went right over and helped her. The best part is that she fell asleep easily and SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! Anh had a little fit at bedtime because he wanted mom, Tam, and Anh in the big bed and dad out of the room. I'm not exactly sure what that was all about, but eventually he ended up going to sleep in his own bed.

Well, we will see how day 2 goes. I have a feeling that she will not let us put her in the carrier, which may keep us in the hotel more than I would like. At least there is a nice wading pool here and a couple of kids play areas. And hopefully Grandma Pat Pat will be able to manage for short stints on her own :-)
We are pretty much free until next week sometime, when the passport will be ready. The only thing left to do is to apply for the U.S. visa for Tam, but that cannot be done without a passport, so there you have it. In one day we met our daughter and almost completed the process. Plan Vietnam is so efficient and doing such a good job it is just a shame that the program with the U.S. is ending.