Sunday, September 21, 2008

Further thoughts





Parenting two toddlers is challenging in an of itself. But, when one of the toddlers is a new addition, coming with her own complete personality, things get a little crazy. Tam has been waking every night screaming in a way only she can scream. Eventually, Tam will share a room with Anh, but until we can quiet this screaming a bit, we have been sleeping with her in our bed. I swear, the scream could wake the dead. Until last night, she would wake up and then thrash around not letting us get close to her. For the first time last night, she let me comfort her during her nighttime scream. I feel like it was a little miracle and a step forward.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Back home

It has been a week since we touched back down in the U.S. and it has taken me this long to get around to typing on our blog! Yes, things have been crazy and challenging and exciting and fun. Anh and Tam are starting to work out their differences, which has been helped along by having two parents who are not as stressed and tired as we were in the beginning. Getting back into our normal routine has also helped as well as having the most amazing preschool teachers/friends who always manage to be the calm within life's craziness. Deb and Chris have really helped me regain my sanity this week, when I thought that the sky was falling (and they probably don't even know it).
But, I am getting ahead of myself.....

Our trip back to the U.S. was a bit better than we expected. The kids slept most of the way with just a couple of minor melt-downs in the middle of the ride. The staff on China Airlines was fantastic - so helpful and friendly - I was really impressed with the service on this flight. One thing I noticed was that the only person on the flight who were put off by having children on board was the boorish American in front of us. It was just our luck that Tam lets out a scream that could wake the dead anytime she wakes, even for a second. Not much we could do about it and it was always very short lived (like less than 30 seconds at most and usually just for a split second). Anyhow, this guy kept turning around and staring at us like somehow that was going to make it stop. Let me tell you, I definitely felt his pain, since it was my ear she was yelling in each time!
It took us more than an hour to get through the new immigrant line in San Francisco, so by the time we picked up our luggage, rented a car, and drove over to Oakland, it was about 11 pm. That night sleep came easily for all of us! Our flight back to Eugene was sort of a comedy of errors.
We left Oakland at 1:30pm, 30 minutes later than we had intended, for a 4:20pm flight. Of course, traffic leading up to the toll was horrendous and it took us an hour to get to the rental return. The rental return is a bit off of the airport, although there is a tram that takes you to the airport in about 15 minutes. So, we end up at the ticket counter at close to 2:45pm. We were holding paper tickets, requiring us to see a ticket agent. Just our luck, there is only a single ticket agent and the electronic ticket booths aren't working properly, so many people are waiting to see the agent. By the time we actually see the agent it is now 3:30. No sweat, the security line is short, but we are picked for *extra* screening. This of course takes time, because they have to hand search our luggage and make us go into the "air puff" chamber. Luckily, the TSA at SFO is good at getting people through quickly and we were off again. We managed to get to our gate 5 minutes before boarding, phew. Anh had been sleeping this whole time in his carseat on wheels, so he was none too pleased about being woken up to board the plane on foot. He refused to let me change his diaper, so we board without. The carseat didn't fit in our assigned seats, so the flight attendant moved us to the back just before the plane was due to push back from the gate. It was at this point that Anh tells me he has to use the potty and in the split second when I am deciding that we will have to go before the plane takes off, he has an accident in the isle. Poor Anh! So I run forward to get a new diaper and some wipes and as I return the flight attendant asks me if there is any way I can do this in my seat! Uh, no. So here we were, holding up the flight and I was working as quick as I could to strip Anh, clean him with the only thing I could find - a dry face cloth - and rediaper him. I must say that I did it in record time and everyone on the plane around me was very supportive (thankfully). Anh fell back asleep as I put him back in his car seat - phew, we made it by the skin of our teeth!

I will say that coming home early was really good for our family. We are finally getting our clocks reset and feeling like normal people again. That is not to say that we are getting enough sleep yet! Tam wakes up a lot during the night and to keep her from waking up Anh, she is sleeping in our bed instead of the room that they share. This means that Patrick and I are waking up a lot (remember, she screams when she wakes up). But, at least we are in our own home, sleeping in our own beds, with our friends around us and some semblance of a normal life to live every day.

Friday, September 05, 2008




I guess I have not been nearly as diligent with blogging during our adoption experience this time. Is it because this is our second time around, or is it just that life has suddenly become so much more complex? Maybe a little of both.
Yesterday we got Tam's U.S. visa in what was a pretty anti-climactic experience at the consulate. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad there was nothing exciting about obtaining a U.S. visa for our daughter. When we adopted Anh, the U.S. was still requiring 2 interviews here in Vietnam, the first for a I-600 approval and the second to apply for the visa. At that time, it was very nerve wracking because the interviewer at the consulate seemed to try to give all families a really hard time. Your appointment might be at 1:30 and you would arrive at 1:00, only to find out that he was on a break. Then you might sit around for a couple hours before he was ready to grill you. The torture would commence and you would begin to wonder what you had done wrong and why your country was treating you like a criminal.
This time, we arrived at our appointed time, paid for our visa, and then 15 minutes later signed some paperwork and were approved. Amazing! And, we had Tam's visa in our hand 2 hours later. They have definitely streamlined the process on this end of things. I had been concerned about someone questioning Tam's age, since on paper she is 10 months old, but in reality she is more like 14 months old. Pretty obvious when you see her, but they didn't even blink an eye.

Today was our last full day in Vietnam and Patrick and I spent the day trying to finish up last minute shopping. We have determined that prices of goods and food have gone up between 30-50% since we were here 2 years ago. Still quite inexpensive compared to U.S. standards, but growing ever closer to our prices. It is also interesting to note that you still see the same exact wares in shops here that were available 2 years ago. The more thing change.....

Well, we are on a plane tomorrow night and will be back in the U.S. on Saturday evening, West coast time. Hopefully, when we are home, the internet will be a bit better and we can start to post some more of our pictures!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The challenges of Two




Again, no new pictures because the internet is flakey.

This past weekend, we went as a family on a home stay out to a village outside of Hanoi. The village was beautiful and *quiet*, something you really enjoy after being in Hanoi for a little while. I really want to say something amazing about the trip, but the reality is that it was actually kind of boring. Even though I had asked our guide whether he was accustomed to small children, and even though he loves kids and spent much of his time with Tam, it wasn't a tour really set up for two toddlers who needed naps and to run around from time to time.

From Hanoi, we drove out to the town, which was 50 Km and took about 90 minutes to drive because everyone drives so slowly here. The town itself reminded me a bit of a small town in Italy, with narrow cobble stone streets lined by stone houses that came right up to the street. There was even a town square that looked like a piazza, although not quite as charming as an italian piazza. Patrick and I had a chance to wander a bit in town and enjoyed the mystery of discovering what was around the bend. All the people were so friendly and the children absolutely loved having their pictures taken. We spent about 15 minutes taking pictures of posing children and then showing them the shots on the camera - they thought it was so cool!

The kids both fell asleep on the car ride to town, so we went straight to the family's home. Of course, as soon as we arrived, they both woke up and that was the end of a nap for either of them. From there, we had lunch and then sat around for quite a while not really sure what was going to happen next or when it was going to happen. Eventually, our guide, Han, took us to a couple of temples, but the most excitement came when Anh and Tam had a chance to pet a baby cow, see a big frog, and pet a water buffalo. What more could a child really ask for?

After a quick tour through town with our guide, we went back to the home, where Han cooked us a wonderful meal that included dishes with dragon fish, beef, chicken, and lots of veggies. I think that Han's specialty is cooking, which he does really well.

We had a choice to stay at the home overnight, but because there were no real beds and no A/C, we decided to stay in a hotel close by. This was one of the most basic Asian hotels we have ever stayed in. Anh, Tam, Patrick, and I shared one queen bed - wow that was tight - and the bathroom was typical - a hose frome the sink faucet to a shower head that was placed in the middle of the small room, soaking everything. Have you ever sat on a toilet that was totally soaked by the shower? At least the place was fairly clean.

In the morning, we woke early to a downpour! We piled back into the car for the trip back to town and to the local food market. Han gave us a quick introduction to bargening for our food and then we purchased the ingredients for our breakfast, including fresh eggs and morning glory. All this while dodging raindrops :-)
As usual, the kids were quite the hit, even when Anh became really upset because he was so hungry (he is accustomed to eating as soon as he gets up in the morning). A couple of those UHT milk boxes did the trick on the spot until we went back to the home for breakfast. After the market there was more sitting around aimlessly at the family home until after breakfast. On our way back to Hanoi, we stopped at the silk village, which was quite a disappointment. It probably didn't help that we arrived close to lunch time, when everyone was closing for a nap. Even still, I was surprised that the shops there didn't seem to have the quality of clothing that you can find in Hanoi.

Getting back to the hotel in Hanoi was actually a relief. I never thought I would feel this way, but travel right now is very hard! Tam needs 2 naps a day, Anh needs 1 (and both at different times), and there is a constant need for food for both. Anh will sleep in the carrier, Tam barely even tolerates riding in the carrier, and get them together and there is fierce competition for laps, carrier, food, attention etc. Because of this and just wanting to get home to a routine, we have decided to come home as soon as Tam's visa is ready this week. I'm so sad about not getting down to Hoi An on this trip, but I also know it is the best for both kids - to get them home and back into a routine. Anh misses his preschool and friends and Patrick and I need to figure out our life as a family of 4!

Monday, September 01, 2008

Updates



Hmmm, where to start?
Well, Anh is having a much harder time adjusting to a new sister than we were expecting. He is acting like a baby with the whole goo goo ga ga thing and wanting a bottle etc. If Tam comes near me, he becomes very clingy or tries to crawl all over me. On the other hand, Tam is very physical and tends to fight to get her way, which is, I'm sure, a result of living in the orphanage. She will walk right up to Anh and smack him on the face and poor Anh, who is so gentle, just stands there stunned. For the first few days he would just come crying to me that Tam hit him, but by then it was too late to redirect her. Unfortunately, he has now started to become physical with her - pushing and kicking her just to make a point.
Well, it sounds worse than it is, and most of the time they get along just fine. In fact, Tam seems to adore Anh and follows him around copying everything he does. He is very gentle with her and loves to kiss and hug her (which she sometimes even allows). Tonight I caught a cute picture of them playing together, which I would post if the internet was working properly.