Creating a Family

2008-11-25T11:09:00.001-08:00

The Mom Song- LIVE from Northland Video on Vimeo.

Classic Onion Satire

2008-11-06T21:20:00.000-08:00

Some great stories from The Onion

Patrick

Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress
November 5, 2008 | Issue 44•45

WASHINGTON—After emerging victorious from one of the most pivotal elections in history, president-elect Barack Obama will assume the role of commander in chief on Jan. 20, shattering a racial barrier the United States is, at long last, shitty enough to overcome.
Although polls going into the final weeks of October showed Sen. Obama in the lead, it remained unclear whether the failing economy, dilapidated housing market, crumbling national infrastructure, health care crisis, energy crisis, and five-year-long disastrous war in Iraq had made the nation crappy enough to rise above 300 years of racial prejudice and make lasting change.

"Today the American people have made their voices heard, and they have said, 'Things are finally as terrible as we're willing to tolerate," said Obama, addressing a crowd of unemployed, uninsured, and debt-ridden supporters. "To elect a black man, in this country, and at this time—these last eight years must have really broken you."
more at:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nation_finally_shitty_enough_to

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job
November 5, 2008 | Issue 44•45

WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/black_man_given_nations

From 2001. Let's hope these days are over:
Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
January 17, 2001 | Issue 37•01

WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."

President-elect Bush vows that "together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us."
"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

Wall Street responded strongly to the Bush speech, with the Dow Jones industrial fluctuating wildly before closing at an 18-month low. The NASDAQ composite index, rattled by a gloomy outlook for tech stocks in 2001, also fell sharply, losing 4.4 percent of its total value between 3 p.m. and the closing bell.

Asked for comment about the cooling technology sector, Bush said: "That's hardly my area of expertise."

Turning to the subject of the environment, Bush said he will do whatever it takes to undo the tremendous damage not done by the Clinton Administration to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. He assured citizens that he will follow through on his campaign promise to open the 1.5 million acre refuge's coastal plain to oil drilling. As a sign of his commitment to bringing about a change in the environment, he pointed to his choice of Gale Norton for Secretary of the Interior. Norton, Bush noted, has "extensive experience" fighting environmental causes, working as a lobbyist for lead-paint manufacturers and as an attorney for loggers and miners, in addition to suing the EPA to overturn clean-air standards.

Bush had equally high praise for Attorney General nominee John Ashcroft, whom he praised as "a tireless champion in the battle to protect a woman's right to give birth."

"Soon, with John Ashcroft's help, we will move out of the Dark Ages and into a more enlightened time when a woman will be free to think long and hard before trying to fight her way past throngs of protesters blocking her entrance to an abortion clinic," Bush said. "We as a nation can look forward to lots and lots of babies."

Soldiers at Ft. Bragg march lockstep in preparation for America's return to aggression.
Continued Bush: "John Ashcroft will be invaluable in healing the terrible wedge President Clinton drove between church and state."

The speech was met with overwhelming approval from Republican leaders.

"Finally, the horrific misrule of the Democrats has been brought to a close," House Majority Leader Dennis Hastert (R-IL) told reporters. "Under Bush, we can all look forward to military aggression, deregulation of dangerous, greedy industries, and the defunding of vital domestic social-service programs upon which millions depend. Mercifully, we can now say goodbye to the awful nightmare that was Clinton's America."

"For years, I tirelessly preached the message that Clinton must be stopped," conservative talk-radio host Rush Limbaugh said. "And yet, in 1996, the American public failed to heed my urgent warnings, re-electing Clinton despite the fact that the nation was prosperous and at peace under his regime. But now, thank God, that's all done with. Once again, we will enjoy mounting debt, jingoism, nuclear paranoia, mass deficit, and a massive military build-up."

An overwhelming 49.9 percent of Americans responded enthusiastically to the Bush speech.

"After eight years of relatively sane fiscal policy under the Democrats, we have reached a point where, just a few weeks ago, President Clinton said that the national debt could be paid off by as early as 2012," Rahway, NJ, machinist and father of three Bud Crandall said. "That's not the kind of world I want my children to grow up in."

"You have no idea what it's like to be black and enfranchised," said Marlon Hastings, one of thousands of Miami-Dade County residents whose votes were not counted in the 2000 presidential election. "George W. Bush understands the pain of enfranchisement, and ever since Election Day, he has fought tirelessly to make sure it never happens to my people again."

Bush concluded his speech on a note of healing and redemption.

"We as a people must stand united, banding together to tear this nation in two," Bush said. "Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there's much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation's hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it."

"The insanity is over," Bush said. "After a long, dark night of peace and stability, the sun is finally rising again over America. We look forward to a bright new dawn not seen since the glory days of my dad."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

I Think I See The Light At The End of The Tunnel Now

2008-11-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

This is a letter my good friend Jerry penned regarding the president elect. It really touched me, so I have decided to republish it.

Good job Jerry ol' Boy!

Patrick

PS More of his stuff at http://greater-apes.blogspot.com/

"Not in my lifetime."

For the entirety of my life, that was the answer I gave to the question “Do you ever think there will be a black President.” Call me cynical, I’m only 40 years old, but I never thought it would happen. That is, until four years ago.

I remember the moment. The Democratic Convention was on the television and as I passed through the dining room, I heard someone introduce the Keynote Speaker, some guy I’d never heard of named Barack Obama. Now, I stopped to give him a bit of attention, well, because he was black, truthfully, and I figured I’d give a brother a little respect. Moments passed and I found myself standing flat-footed and stock-still in the middle of the room.

Oh. Shit.

What the hell was going on? Who the hell was this? Why haven’t I moved? And, seriously, why am I holding my breath? There was something happening at that moment, a “rumbling”, a “shift”, if you will, and it brought up something in me that I had to give voice to. Standing in my dining room, speaking to no one in particular, I said, “I think I just saw the first black President.”

I had no sense of when he would get there. I was still of the mindset that Kerry would defeat Bush and hopefully get two terms. I figured in eight or twelve years, he’d get his shot. But Bush was able to steal Ohio and, still drunk and high from his reelection party, drove this country into the ditch then climbed out and danced on top of it like Michael Jackson at a courthouse. Things got a lot worse, our nation’s mood got darker and Barack saw the unique opportunity to make a difference.

Like many, when Barack got in the race I thought it may have been too soon for him. I was in the John Edwards camp [cough!utterdisappointment!cough!] for most of the run-up to Iowa, but Barack’s debate performances pulled me into his camp by the time the primaries started. I was still skeptical though. Not of Barack, not at all. I was skeptical of Us. I believe the US is a great country that regrettably has very racist tendencies, so I in no way thought it would be an easy road.

But Barack knew how to play the game. While I repeatedly heard television pundits say that Barack needed to get “passionate” and “show some anger,” I knew what was going on. I knew that Barack had been a black man his entire life and understood that there was a fine line between “showing some anger” and being an “angry black man.” He played it cool and got it done.

I’m not a crying kind of guy. I tend to keep things pretty level and close to the vest, but sometimes moments resonate with me on a primal level and I have no control over that. The first time I heard my son sing a lullaby back to me that I had sung to him his entire life, for example. Tears flowed. Ten minutes after the election was called for Barack, I reached for the phone to call my mother and it hit me. I walked away from the phone and went to find my son. I held him and I cried. At three years old he doesn’t understand the difference between tears of joy and tears of sadness. He doesn’t understand what this moment means to someone like me.

I’ve always considered myself patriotic. But there has always been an enthusiasm gap. I haven’t said the Pledge of Allegiance since elementary school. I stand for but don’t sing the National Anthem. I believe in the promise of America but have always felt America had only given the promise lip-service. That black people’s citizenship was, to an extent, only provisional. Minorities’ in general to be honest.

No longer. A threshold has been crossed. America has shown that it’s willing to start embracing all of its people. For the first time in my life, I feel fully American. When promoting the American Dream, I’ll no longer feel like I’m lying.

Unfortunately, it took a disastrous Presidency to get us here. Citizen’s had to get to the point where the road ahead was so dire that they were forced to set aside their bigotry.

Now we’ve got a lot of work to do. Our economic troubles aren’t suddenly fixed. Our standing in the world isn’t healed. Racism and bigotry aren’t gone now (just ask your gay neighbors). We’re not out of this yet.

But at least we can see the end of the tunnel now.

Barack Hussein Obama is the next President of the United States.

Sweet.

-Jerry Williams!

November 5, 2008

Oakland, California

2008-11-05T13:44:00.001-08:00

Into the "normal" times

2008-10-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been a bit hesitant to post anything in the past few weeks because of all the adjustments that have been taking place. I'll say that it was a very rough start for us. I now know why they say that having 2 is much more than double the work. When you have one, you can pour all of your attention into that one child. In many ways they begin to act like little adults as they mimic your behavior. Add a second and all of a sudden you have 2 *children*. Every second of your day is occupied by managing their interactions (at least until they learn to do it themselves). So, these past weeks I have been tied up trying to teach Anh and Tam how to live together. Finally, finally, they are starting to PLAY TOGETHER! Yes, yesterday morning they were having so much fun together that I actually had time to wash the dishes. Sure wish I had gotten pictures of that! Here is a cutie to show how they sometimes get along....

And if you follow the link on the right -------> I am trying to keep all my newest photos there.

Further thoughts

2008-09-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

Parenting two toddlers is challenging in an of itself. But, when one of the toddlers is a new addition, coming with her own complete personality, things get a little crazy. Tam has been waking every night screaming in a way only she can scream. Eventually, Tam will share a room with Anh, but until we can quiet this screaming a bit, we have been sleeping with her in our bed. I swear, the scream could wake the dead. Until last night, she would wake up and then thrash around not letting us get close to her. For the first time last night, she let me comfort her during her nighttime scream. I feel like it was a little miracle and a step forward.

Back home

2008-09-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

It has been a week since we touched back down in the U.S. and it has taken me this long to get around to typing on our blog! Yes, things have been crazy and challenging and exciting and fun. Anh and Tam are starting to work out their differences, which has been helped along by having two parents who are not as stressed and tired as we were in the beginning. Getting back into our normal routine has also helped as well as having the most amazing preschool teachers/friends who always manage to be the calm within life's craziness. Deb and Chris have really helped me regain my sanity this week, when I thought that the sky was falling (and they probably don't even know it).
But, I am getting ahead of myself.....

Our trip back to the U.S. was a bit better than we expected. The kids slept most of the way with just a couple of minor melt-downs in the middle of the ride. The staff on China Airlines was fantastic - so helpful and friendly - I was really impressed with the service on this flight. One thing I noticed was that the only person on the flight who were put off by having children on board was the boorish American in front of us. It was just our luck that Tam lets out a scream that could wake the dead anytime she wakes, even for a second. Not much we could do about it and it was always very short lived (like less than 30 seconds at most and usually just for a split second). Anyhow, this guy kept turning around and staring at us like somehow that was going to make it stop. Let me tell you, I definitely felt his pain, since it was my ear she was yelling in each time!
It took us more than an hour to get through the new immigrant line in San Francisco, so by the time we picked up our luggage, rented a car, and drove over to Oakland, it was about 11 pm. That night sleep came easily for all of us! Our flight back to Eugene was sort of a comedy of errors.
We left Oakland at 1:30pm, 30 minutes later than we had intended, for a 4:20pm flight. Of course, traffic leading up to the toll was horrendous and it took us an hour to get to the rental return. The rental return is a bit off of the airport, although there is a tram that takes you to the airport in about 15 minutes. So, we end up at the ticket counter at close to 2:45pm. We were holding paper tickets, requiring us to see a ticket agent. Just our luck, there is only a single ticket agent and the electronic ticket booths aren't working properly, so many people are waiting to see the agent. By the time we actually see the agent it is now 3:30. No sweat, the security line is short, but we are picked for *extra* screening. This of course takes time, because they have to hand search our luggage and make us go into the "air puff" chamber. Luckily, the TSA at SFO is good at getting people through quickly and we were off again. We managed to get to our gate 5 minutes before boarding, phew. Anh had been sleeping this whole time in his carseat on wheels, so he was none too pleased about being woken up to board the plane on foot. He refused to let me change his diaper, so we board without. The carseat didn't fit in our assigned seats, so the flight attendant moved us to the back just before the plane was due to push back from the gate. It was at this point that Anh tells me he has to use the potty and in the split second when I am deciding that we will have to go before the plane takes off, he has an accident in the isle. Poor Anh! So I run forward to get a new diaper and some wipes and as I return the flight attendant asks me if there is any way I can do this in my seat! Uh, no. So here we were, holding up the flight and I was working as quick as I could to strip Anh, clean him with the only thing I could find - a dry face cloth - and rediaper him. I must say that I did it in record time and everyone on the plane around me was very supportive (thankfully). Anh fell back asleep as I put him back in his car seat - phew, we made it by the skin of our teeth!

I will say that coming home early was really good for our family. We are finally getting our clocks reset and feeling like normal people again. That is not to say that we are getting enough sleep yet! Tam wakes up a lot during the night and to keep her from waking up Anh, she is sleeping in our bed instead of the room that they share. This means that Patrick and I are waking up a lot (remember, she screams when she wakes up). But, at least we are in our own home, sleeping in our own beds, with our friends around us and some semblance of a normal life to live every day.

2008-09-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

I guess I have not been nearly as diligent with blogging during our adoption experience this time. Is it because this is our second time around, or is it just that life has suddenly become so much more complex? Maybe a little of both.
Yesterday we got Tam's U.S. visa in what was a pretty anti-climactic experience at the consulate. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad there was nothing exciting about obtaining a U.S. visa for our daughter. When we adopted Anh, the U.S. was still requiring 2 interviews here in Vietnam, the first for a I-600 approval and the second to apply for the visa. At that time, it was very nerve wracking because the interviewer at the consulate seemed to try to give all families a really hard time. Your appointment might be at 1:30 and you would arrive at 1:00, only to find out that he was on a break. Then you might sit around for a couple hours before he was ready to grill you. The torture would commence and you would begin to wonder what you had done wrong and why your country was treating you like a criminal.
This time, we arrived at our appointed time, paid for our visa, and then 15 minutes later signed some paperwork and were approved. Amazing! And, we had Tam's visa in our hand 2 hours later. They have definitely streamlined the process on this end of things. I had been concerned about someone questioning Tam's age, since on paper she is 10 months old, but in reality she is more like 14 months old. Pretty obvious when you see her, but they didn't even blink an eye.

Today was our last full day in Vietnam and Patrick and I spent the day trying to finish up last minute shopping. We have determined that prices of goods and food have gone up between 30-50% since we were here 2 years ago. Still quite inexpensive compared to U.S. standards, but growing ever closer to our prices. It is also interesting to note that you still see the same exact wares in shops here that were available 2 years ago. The more thing change.....

Well, we are on a plane tomorrow night and will be back in the U.S. on Saturday evening, West coast time. Hopefully, when we are home, the internet will be a bit better and we can start to post some more of our pictures!

The challenges of Two

2008-09-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

Again, no new pictures because the internet is flakey.

This past weekend, we went as a family on a home stay out to a village outside of Hanoi. The village was beautiful and *quiet*, something you really enjoy after being in Hanoi for a little while. I really want to say something amazing about the trip, but the reality is that it was actually kind of boring. Even though I had asked our guide whether he was accustomed to small children, and even though he loves kids and spent much of his time with Tam, it wasn't a tour really set up for two toddlers who needed naps and to run around from time to time.

From Hanoi, we drove out to the town, which was 50 Km and took about 90 minutes to drive because everyone drives so slowly here. The town itself reminded me a bit of a small town in Italy, with narrow cobble stone streets lined by stone houses that came right up to the street. There was even a town square that looked like a piazza, although not quite as charming as an italian piazza. Patrick and I had a chance to wander a bit in town and enjoyed the mystery of discovering what was around the bend. All the people were so friendly and the children absolutely loved having their pictures taken. We spent about 15 minutes taking pictures of posing children and then showing them the shots on the camera - they thought it was so cool!

The kids both fell asleep on the car ride to town, so we went straight to the family's home. Of course, as soon as we arrived, they both woke up and that was the end of a nap for either of them. From there, we had lunch and then sat around for quite a while not really sure what was going to happen next or when it was going to happen. Eventually, our guide, Han, took us to a couple of temples, but the most excitement came when Anh and Tam had a chance to pet a baby cow, see a big frog, and pet a water buffalo. What more could a child really ask for?

After a quick tour through town with our guide, we went back to the home, where Han cooked us a wonderful meal that included dishes with dragon fish, beef, chicken, and lots of veggies. I think that Han's specialty is cooking, which he does really well.

We had a choice to stay at the home overnight, but because there were no real beds and no A/C, we decided to stay in a hotel close by. This was one of the most basic Asian hotels we have ever stayed in. Anh, Tam, Patrick, and I shared one queen bed - wow that was tight - and the bathroom was typical - a hose frome the sink faucet to a shower head that was placed in the middle of the small room, soaking everything. Have you ever sat on a toilet that was totally soaked by the shower? At least the place was fairly clean.

In the morning, we woke early to a downpour! We piled back into the car for the trip back to town and to the local food market. Han gave us a quick introduction to bargening for our food and then we purchased the ingredients for our breakfast, including fresh eggs and morning glory. All this while dodging raindrops :-)
As usual, the kids were quite the hit, even when Anh became really upset because he was so hungry (he is accustomed to eating as soon as he gets up in the morning). A couple of those UHT milk boxes did the trick on the spot until we went back to the home for breakfast. After the market there was more sitting around aimlessly at the family home until after breakfast. On our way back to Hanoi, we stopped at the silk village, which was quite a disappointment. It probably didn't help that we arrived close to lunch time, when everyone was closing for a nap. Even still, I was surprised that the shops there didn't seem to have the quality of clothing that you can find in Hanoi.

Getting back to the hotel in Hanoi was actually a relief. I never thought I would feel this way, but travel right now is very hard! Tam needs 2 naps a day, Anh needs 1 (and both at different times), and there is a constant need for food for both. Anh will sleep in the carrier, Tam barely even tolerates riding in the carrier, and get them together and there is fierce competition for laps, carrier, food, attention etc. Because of this and just wanting to get home to a routine, we have decided to come home as soon as Tam's visa is ready this week. I'm so sad about not getting down to Hoi An on this trip, but I also know it is the best for both kids - to get them home and back into a routine. Anh misses his preschool and friends and Patrick and I need to figure out our life as a family of 4!

Updates

2008-09-01T05:56:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, where to start?
Well, Anh is having a much harder time adjusting to a new sister than we were expecting. He is acting like a baby with the whole goo goo ga ga thing and wanting a bottle etc. If Tam comes near me, he becomes very clingy or tries to crawl all over me. On the other hand, Tam is very physical and tends to fight to get her way, which is, I'm sure, a result of living in the orphanage. She will walk right up to Anh and smack him on the face and poor Anh, who is so gentle, just stands there stunned. For the first few days he would just come crying to me that Tam hit him, but by then it was too late to redirect her. Unfortunately, he has now started to become physical with her - pushing and kicking her just to make a point.
Well, it sounds worse than it is, and most of the time they get along just fine. In fact, Tam seems to adore Anh and follows him around copying everything he does. He is very gentle with her and loves to kiss and hug her (which she sometimes even allows). Tonight I caught a cute picture of them playing together, which I would post if the internet was working properly.

2008-08-31T16:23:00.000-07:00

Water Puppets, finally

2008-08-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

This is our third trip to Hanoi and we have spent now a total of 6 weeks in this city alone. In all this time we have never visited the Hanoi Water Puppets show, until yesterday. All 5 of us went to the early show and it was well worth the price of the ticket ($2.50). Anh sat with rapt attention for the entire show and was even bobbing his head and tapping his leg to the music. He has not been able to stop talking about the show since we left and I have promised him a return visit before we leave Hanoi. Looks like it is going to be a mother-son experience, since Patti and Patrick are not too interested in a second performance. Tam, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the show, but by halfway through was squirming in my lap.
http://www.thanglongwaterpuppet.org/news.htm
Afterward, we went out for Fanny's Ice Cream, a must in Hanoi if you like ice cream. Anh had his favorite, ginger, and went home with a big smile on his face! Ah the little things in life that make you happy.

Our trip to Vietnam, this time, has definitely had a different quality than any other trip Patrick and I have taken. We are staying in a very Western hotel, not eating out that much (we have a kitchen), and even not getting around the city as much as we would normally like. This is partially due to having two small children to cart around, partially due to misplacing Anh's carrier for a few days, and partially due to the hotel being situated a little out of the old town section of Hanoi. It certainly doesn't feel like we are in Vietnam and I suppose this is what many of the families who come here experience. It is a shame, since I think Vietnam is such a wonderful country and so rich in culture. So, we are getting off our laurels tomorrow and going out into the country for an overnight homestay. We have hired a guide, Han, who was recommended through one of the yahoo groups, to take us out to a village in the country where we will spend time with a local family and learn the art of haggling in the market. I'm excited for Patti to get a flavor of Vietnam outside of Hanoi - I hope she is feeling hearty tomorrow :-)

Adjusting to a new family

2008-08-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

Everything is going surprisingly smoothly with Tam. She is old enough to communicate when she is hungry or needs her diaper changed and she is still sleeping through the night. Actually, Anh is having a much harder time adjusting than the rest of us. He has hit the terrible twos with a vengence. Yesterday we tried to visit a monestary in Hanoi and he spent the entire time running around, putting his feet on everything, and just plain making as much noise as possible. What ever happened to our sweet little boy? It doesn't help that I managed to lose our Ergo carrier that Anh will sleep in at any time. I didn't realize how much we relied on the carrier until we didn't have it. We did borrow one for Tam, but it is just too small for Anh.
We are planning on going to the water puppets tonight, so hopefully he can sit still for one whole hour.
Will post more pictures when I have a chance.

Photos from the orphanage

2008-08-25T18:30:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to photos from the orphanage - just scroll down and look for the recent photos. There are a bunch more photos on a second camera that we have, but we don't have the cable with us. We will load them when we return to the US.
www.pinsonjaron.shutterfly.com

THE BIG DAY

2008-08-25T13:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Monday, was really the BIG day! In the morning, Patrick went off with Loan to apply for Tam's passport. During this trip, Loan let us know that the G&R would be scheduled for Tuesday, but the time was unknown, so we should be available all day. At noon, we boarded a small bus for the 90 minute ride out to the orphanage. Just before we got on the bus, Dr. Hong told the families that we would be having our G&R on the way back from the orphanage! This was going to be a LONG day. There were 3 families going to the orphanage together, including us, and there were 9 adults and 3 kids between us. What a difference from our private trip to pick up Anh two years ago.

I hardly recognized anything on the trip until we got almost right to the orphanage and then I remembered that last bend in the road. Everything was pretty chaotic when we first arrived. Tam was handed to me, but she wouldn't let go of her nannies. Unlike Anh, who was so laid back about the whole process, Tam wouldn't let either of us touch her at all for the first 20 minutes. The nannies bathed and changed her into her new dress for us and then tried again to hand her to us. Well, it turns out that Tam is VERY independent! She was walking around from room to room sitting with all the different nannies and playing with all the babies. When she would finally let me pick her up, she didn't want to be held for more than a couple of minutes before she needed to be running around again. I think we are going to have our hands full :-)

All of the nannies and the orphanage director seemed to be happy to see Anh. They were all thrilled that he was a Ba Vi baby, although I don't think anyone really remembered him. Of course, he spent much of his time in Vientam with a foster family, so it is not surprising that they don't remember. For his part, Anh was very reserved and wouldn't let any of the nannies touch him. He even was afraid of Dr. Hong, who he has been looking forward to seeing for months! He was, however, quite concerned about always being together with Tam. Whenever she would walk away, he would insist on following her and he was very attached to the fact that she is his sister (although he keeps insisting that he is Tam's older *sister*)

On the van ride back, we had our first leaky diaper - all over me. Thank you Asian diapers (and these were huggies). No matter, as it turns out, Tam is almost the same size as Anh, so I can get rid of all the new diapers I bought. Once we had the right size diaper on her, all was well (although my nice G&R clothes were still all wet). Anh thought it was very cool to be able to share his diapers with Tam and once she was dry again, he decided that she should sit on his lap, since she is his baby.

The G&R was held with 2 families from Ba Vi and 4 families from Dong Anh who had picked up their babies in the morning. The babies were all doing quite well and the only disturbances came from Anh, who decided that this was finally his stage. He became so animated and did his best to tell anyone who would listen about his trip to pick up Tam.

It was at the point of leaving the G&R that everything started to fall apart. I was holding Tam and she started screaming bloody murder. The only thing that would calm her was to be held by her nannies. Every time they would put her back in my arms she would start wailing again. It was incredibly sad because it seemed that she was distraught about being taken away from her home. My heart was breaking for this little girl who was being ripped away from her home where she was queen bee to go with these strange looking people to some unknown place. It was definitely clear to me that she was suffering immense loss. And of course, as soon as we all got back into the bus, Tam's screaming set off all the other babies. They were all only calmed when Dr. Hong took Tam so she could settle down. Now I know what it is like to be in a bus full of wailing babies.

Luckily, Tam seemed to be calm with Patrick, so when we arrived at the hotel (at 7pm), he took her straight up to our room. The happy ending to the day was that she was very happy back in the room. She is curious and smart and adores her brother! They played so nicely together and Anh is just the best big brother. Tam immediately found Anh's new puzzle and tried to put it together (she was doing pretty well, too) and when she had a little trouble, she called for Anh and he went right over and helped her. The best part is that she fell asleep easily and SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! Anh had a little fit at bedtime because he wanted mom, Tam, and Anh in the big bed and dad out of the room. I'm not exactly sure what that was all about, but eventually he ended up going to sleep in his own bed.

Well, we will see how day 2 goes. I have a feeling that she will not let us put her in the carrier, which may keep us in the hotel more than I would like. At least there is a nice wading pool here and a couple of kids play areas. And hopefully Grandma Pat Pat will be able to manage for short stints on her own :-)
We are pretty much free until next week sometime, when the passport will be ready. The only thing left to do is to apply for the U.S. visa for Tam, but that cannot be done without a passport, so there you have it. In one day we met our daughter and almost completed the process. Plan Vietnam is so efficient and doing such a good job it is just a shame that the program with the U.S. is ending.

Vietnam Take 2

2008-08-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are back again in Hanoi waiting for another child. As the locals would say "same, same, but different". Everything feels so familiar and just driving from the airport was enough to remind me of how much I love the country! We are staying at a different hotel (this time we have a 2 bedroom apartment). In a way this is very sad because we loved the Lucky so much, but it is also nice how convenient the Hanoi Towers is. We have everything here - a kids playroom, pools, a grocery store, a coffee shop - what more could you ask for when adjusting to a new family member?

Everything is such a lush green here and the weather is very heavy. They are calling for rain and thunderstorms for the next week, but I have heard that there has actually been very little rain so far. The traffic is as I remember it, craziness with a touch of insanity. We haven't ventured out much yet, but it will be interesting when grandma has to start navigating the streets here. I think she is in for a bit of a shock, but hopefully that will be overcome by her excitement to have her morning pho.

Tomorrow is the BIG day and I can't believe that it is upon us already. Patrick will go and apply for Tam's passport in the morning and then we will all go out to the orphanage in the afternoon to pick her up. We are hoping to snap tons of pictures for all the families still waiting to travel so we have our work cut out for us.

our letter and new Tam pics

2008-07-31T13:20:00.000-07:00

Here are the new pictures, thanks to Heather!

Approval to travel has arrived!

2008-07-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

Early this morning I woke up and decided to check Patrick's email. This is NOT something I ever do, but I felt compelled for some reason. And there, at the top of his inbox, was our approval to travel and pick up Tam! Unbelievable, we are really going. As soon as I can, I'll post our letter from the Embassy as real proof :-)

Sunni Patterson

2008-07-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

Probably the most powerful thing I have stumbled upon at Country Fair. Sunni is amazing, moving, beautiful.

Pictures from Country Fair

2008-07-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

Anh and I spent the weekend at the Oregon Country Fair a couple of weeks ago. We actually had a job working in one of the child care booths and were able to camp inside the fair - a very coveted arrangement. It was a ton of fun for Anh and a bit exhausting for me, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. If you haven't been to the Country Fair it is like nothing you have seen before! Check it out here:
www.oregoncountryfair.org

Over another hurdle!

2008-06-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

This morning we got our I-600 receipt from the US Embassy in Ho Chi Minh city. This is the start of our "real" wait. At this point, the USCIS in Vietnam will decide how they would like to investigate our daughter's abandonment and then whether they will approve her adoption. It can take 60 or more working days from this point (which is 3 or more real months). The hope is that they will approve her adoption and grant her a visa to return with us to the US. Once we receive notification of favorable approval, then we can travel to pick her up fairly quickly. I'm sure this summer is going to go *really* slowly!

2008-06-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

2008-06-09T08:42:00.001-07:00

We finally have some smiling pictures of Tham. Wow, I can't believe just how cute she is - I just want to go scoop her up. We are still waiting to hear that our I-600 has been submitted to Ho Chi Minh, but are hoping that happens during June sometime. After that, we have about a 3 month wait for approval, if all goes well. The long and short is that with a smooth process, I am hoping to travel in late September or early October.

More about Tham

2008-05-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I was a little confused, to say the least, by the information on Tham's medical report. I states that she was born on November 8, 2007 and currently weighs 9 kg and is 75 cm long. This is HUGE for even a US born baby at 6 months old, but I figured that maybe she was just big. Then I saw her most recent pictures (below) where she is STANDING without holding on and I thought "there is NO WAY this child is 6 months old", but all I had to go on was the stated birth date.
I looked at development charts for Asian children and decided that even if she was 9 months old she would be in the 97th percentile for height and weight, so I was guessing that she was probably between 10-12 months at the time of the pictures and medical.
Needless to say, I was not terribly surprised when my agency told me last night that she was actually abandoned on November 8, 2007 and was probably 5-6 months old at the time. Aha, so I was dead on! So, now we are going to have to decide on a birthdate for her if we don't want to keep the November date (not to mention that we are still trying to find a name). I sure hope that we can also find out more information about her history, although I seriously doubt that is going to be possible.

More pictures of Tham

2008-05-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

These pictures are very recent (days old) and I have to say that she looks older than the 6 months she is suppose to be. Already standing and all! Here's to a speedy process so we can be with her when she takes her first steps (if she hasn't already).

Two referral pictures compared

2008-05-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

Here are the referral pics for Anh and Tham

And then there were 4!

2008-05-06T17:04:00.000-07:00

We have a daughter! I just got the referral from our agency for an 8 month old baby girl from Vietnam. She is in the same orphanage that Anh was associated with. I really can't believe that we actually have the referral, although we are not out of the woods yet. Vietnam is closing their adoptions with the U.S. as of September 1st because of all of the accusations that the U.S. is making. The U.S. has claimed that they have evidence of baby selling, although I'm not entirely sure I believe that it is happening to the extent that they claim. It is a difficult time right now in the world of international adoption - China has slowed to a snails pace, Vietnam is closing, Nepal is closed, Guatemala is all but closed, and even adoption from Africa seems problematic.
Well, for now we will enjoy these lovely pictures of Tham and hope that our paperwork goes through OK and that we come home with her in another 5 months or so.

Anh Sings!

2008-03-08T23:00:00.001-08:00

Silly pics

2008-03-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

Just having fun taking silly pics! Yeay for technology

Flight of the Conchords

2008-02-23T22:33:00.000-08:00

Really funny HBO show that we can only see on YouTube :-)

Potty Training

2007-11-17T22:01:00.000-08:00

Anh decided it was time to try his hand at peeing in the potty. This is what happened....

Pictures, videos, etc.....

2007-08-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

So, it seems the only thing I can ever find time to do it upload videos and post pictures. Please scroll down for the 3 latest videos - 2 are from Yachats on the Oregon coast and one is from a local farm. I have also added a link on the right side of the page to picture albums of Anh.

Just a few little notes about what Anh is up to:
Anh is really talking up a storm. Every day it seems that he has new words and loves using them. Right now his favorite word is "No", thanks to our friend Elliot :-)
Anh is finally getting more teeth, including molars! It has been six months since his last teeth came in, and he has been managing on just the 6 front ones that he had. We are being reminded about how much fun getting new teeth is..
Anh peed "in" his toilet for the first time! It had nothing to do with us, and he didn't quite make it into the toilet, but it was still quite an accomplishment. We bought a training toilet a few months ago, just to have around so that he would be used to it. He has loved playing in it - he thinks it is a toy box. Well, a couple of days ago he said "pee pee" and pointed at the toilet. Patrick removed Anh's diaper and Anh sat on the seat and peed a little on the floor. We are very proud :-)

Anh is definitely not a little baby anymore and I am always amazed to look at old photots of him to see how much he has changed!
Enjoy the videos and pictures.

Through the legs

2007-08-06T21:22:00.001-07:00

splashing in the water

2007-08-06T21:02:00.001-07:00

New Anh video - begging to talk

2007-07-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

Sorry I don't have time to post, but enjoy this video.

Big Boy Shoes

2007-06-16T22:55:00.000-07:00

Quick cute video

2007-05-26T04:50:00.000-07:00

I only managed to snap a single video while in Israel. Anh insisted on playing with this small bottle of gin all the time and everyone kept saying he was starting early. No, he did not drink any alcohol! He has also taken to "dancing" to music - really just spinning round and round - which he demonstrates briefly here. Just this afternoon we were outside playing and he hear music from inside the house. Anh came running (ok, well stumbling) inside and stood in front of the stereo twirling around for at least 5 minutes.

New Trip - Israel

2007-05-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we have been in Israel for the past 2 weeks visiting family and I haven't made a single post! Bad Shula. This means that somehow, in between working and taking care of a child, I will have to make up for this, so here goes....
We were lucky to find a fairly good flight itinerary to Tel Aviv by flying first to Portland where we met my sister. Then we hopped a 10 hour direct flight to Frankfurt, a quick layover, and then on to Tel Aviv in 3.5 hours. The only hitch was that we started with a sick child. Anh had managed to contract hand, foot, and mouth disease, a common childhood virus, the day before we left. He had sores in his mouth which made it painful for him to eat and caused him to be VERY cranky. There was a point when I questioned whether we would be able to travel at all, but we toughed it out, and thanks to my sister's help, made it to Israel in OK shape.

Within the first two days we reunited with family, visited Old Jaffa, went to an Israeli play at the theater that my uncle manges, and ate tons of hummus and pita. Anh was a little cranky all of the time, but it didn't stop us from enjoying ourselves. One memorable meal we had at Itzak HaGadol, where they brought us about 30 little salads, fresh pita, a tray of grilled meats, and pitchers of lemonade. Our first "Israeli" meal and it was delicious.

On our second full day in Tel Aviv, Patrick and I spent the day at Ethrog, Invitrogen's Israel R&D site. A day of work during a vacation sounds like a dull prospect, but it was actually quite interesting and hopefully will lead to some good collaborative projects.
Early the following morning, we were off to Eilat, the southern resort town on the Red Sea coast. My family had previously traveled here 20 years ago and had a fantastic time snorkeling and relaxing. We were in for quite a surprise when we arrived and discovered that Eilat has turned into a small scale cross between Las Vegas and Atlantic City. Not exactly our idea of a great time, but we made the best of it by walking the board walk, eating fantastic sea food, snorkeling at the coral reserve and visiting the aquarium. Things have definitely changed for the worse and it is unlikely that any of us will want to return. Some highs and lows were:
The hotel, Edomit, was a bit crummy for the price. The breakfast and the cleanliness were pretty bad, but at least it was close to downtown.
The aquarium was fantastic, with really nice coral tanks and an underwater observatory. While we were there, a group of young teenagers saw Anh and were facinated to see an asian child. They all wanted to play with him and have their pictures taken with him. None of them had heard of Vietnam, but they understood that it is near China and Thailand.

To be continued....

Leapfrog into March

2007-03-12T01:52:00.000-07:00

Well, not much has happened since I last posted - yeah right! Can you imagine two months going by without any changes in the life of a 1 year old? Anh is seriously amazing and is surprising on a daily basis. Now he walks full time! He is quite the cautious guy, wanting to make sure that each step is safe. I had to laugh when I visited my friend with a daughter at the same stage and she was RUNNING everywhere, even though she was falling constantly. Nothing could stop her and she would just pick herself off the ground and keep going. Anh, on the other hand, is cautious about everything. At every new experience, he spends a lot of time looking the situation over and analyzing it before plunging in. Sounds just like his father! He is also beginning to talk, although "nana" seems to be his universal word for - food, drink, more. We originally thought he was asking for banana, but just about any food will please him. He is still eating like a horse and will eat just about anything we put on his plate, especially if we are eating it too. Tonight he had his first tabouli and seemed to like it. Well, enough talk - here are pictures! Yes, our boy loves to get inside pots, buckets, boxes - just like the cat. Oh, and he meows just like a cat too. I guess he is multi lingual.

First Steps!

2007-01-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

Anh took his first real steps today! After all of these months of thinking that at any moment he would walk, there it was...... and in my lab, no less. Perhaps he was scared of the thought of all the Science around, perhaps he was just ready. Anh has been taking single steps as of late, but today he actually took 5 steps in a row, without falling.
Kids really are amazing! Just when you start to wonder how you can possibly juggle all the different aspects of your life, he throws a little surprise like walking... or like trying to kiss you on his own volition. What a sweetheart.
Hmmm, what else does Anh do? Well, he:
1. Talks a lot. Ok, so he doesn't really say anything understandable except dada, mama, and dog, but he sure loves hearing himself talk! He also loves to sing along with us - he doesn't yet know how bad we sound :-)
2. Takes toys out of containers and puts them back in again. You may say big deal, but I think it is pretty cool that he can pick up after himself.
3. Eats a ton! Yes, this boy will eat anything and his favorites are beans, beef (he takes after his fater) and most veggies. Unfortunately, milk products seem to give him excema, so no scoopy for him.
4. Wake up every morning between 3 and 5 am. Not so cool, but we are hoping he grows out of this in the not too distant future. For now, we are rewarding this behavior by bringing him into bed with us. Such softies.

Of course there are plenty more Anh tricks that I could list, but just wanted to give out a little taste.
The next phase of our remodel - kitchen and bath - begins in less than a month. Hopefully, I'll be able to post some of those pictures!

2006-10-21T22:37:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures!

2006-10-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well, we have now been home a week and what have we learned?

First of all, it is horrible having to go right back to work after adopting! Not only was I completely jet lagged, but looking at Anh's sweet face in the morning and then having to leave was no fun. Of course, he is at his best first thing when he wakes up and I am getting to miss all of that. Thank god for weekends!

Patrick is an awesome dad! He and Anh are bonding really well thanks to his commitment to being an at home dad for a few months. Patrick is seeing the value in having a parent at home for the transition. I think that he is also realizing just how much work parenting is. Before we left for Vietnam, he had these high hopes for getting lots done around the house. Reality is starting to set in that maybe it is not so easy to watch a baby AND finish a remodel.

Parenting Anh is great! He fits so well into our family! Luckily he has no fear of the cats or dog (nor does he seem to be allergic) and the animals are all pretty tolerant of him. In fact, Hobbes is quite friendly toward Anh, allowing the boy to pull his hair! I don't know how we got so lucky - good with animals and will eat anything - but we feel that there couldn't possibly be a better child for us.

Co-sleeping doesn't work for us. We had these grand aspirations that we would co-sleep with Anh for at least a few months to gradually ease him into his new home. In his foster family in Vietnam, Anh had slept in bed with the family. We naturally assumed that he would be more comfortable sleeping in bed with us. Well, in Vietnam it worked fine, because even if we got up in the middle of the night with him, we could always sleep as late as we wanted. However, at home, I was having a hard time getting the rest I needed for work. Every little peep out of him would wake me up - and he seems to have a lot of nightmares - so I wasn't able to get more than a 4 hour stretch. That all ended on Thursday night when we decided to try the crib out. A full night of sleep later and we are hooked! He really slept a good 7 hour stretch, thankfully, and now we can actually function in the daytime. Perhaps it also has something to do with jet lag, but I'm not changing it now.

One very surprising discovery is how many people love babies! So many people that we interact with on a daily basis are turning out to be real children lovers. Most of these people I never would have guessed it about. We have had plenty of offers for babysitting and we have been given more baby items than I think we will ever use. I love the hand-me-downs and there are so many toys that I would never have thought to buy that Anh absolutely loves.

To be continued.....

Back in the USA

2006-09-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

So much has happened, I don't know where to start! Well, we had our second interview and it was pretty uneventful. They gave us Anh's visa the following day and he is ours forever now! All in all, the whole experience in Vietnam has been great and everything has gone very smoothly. Couldn't have asked for a better adoption.
As soon as we were assured the visa, we started trying to book an earlier flight home. As much as we love Vietnam, the thought of going back to work on Monday with only a day of rest was not very appealing. In the end, we were able to fly back to San Francisco on Friday, stay the night with Grandma and Grandpa Quinn, and then fly home to Eugene in the afternoon on Saturday. We will have 3 full nights of sleep in our own time zone and be able to see our pets and home for at least a little while on Saturday!
We are now enjoying our time in California, and Anh is loving meeting his new family!

We Have our 2nd Interview!

2006-09-25T19:22:00.000-07:00

Well, the wait was not nearly as long as we expected between interviews, and we are scheduled for tomorrow, Wednesday, at 3:00pm! We should have Anh's visa in hand sometime on Thursday and then we are free to come home. Yeay! The funny thing about it was that the Embassy didn't even call us, they called the other family at our hotel and asked them to let us know. How weird is that! In the end, it doesn't really matter how we found out, we are just glad that we get to come home with our sweet little boy!

Why worry?

2006-09-23T04:56:00.000-07:00

In life, there are only two states of being, you are either healthy or you are sick. If you are healthy, there are many things to worry about, but if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about: whether you will get healthy or whether you will die. If you die, there are only two things to worry about: if you will go to heaven or if you will go to hell. If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about anymore. If you go to hell you will have lots of time to meet new people coming to hell, so you won't have time to worry about anything. Therefore, you shouldn't worry at all!

Vietnamese cooking class

2006-09-23T04:07:00.000-07:00

First off, I've added new pictures to the album and the link is on the right side of this page and right here

http://ahnvietnam.shutterfly.com

As adoptive parents to a Vietnamese child, Patrick and I decided that we had better start learning the fine art of Vietnamese cooking soon! It is definitely one cuisine that we both enjoy greatly, but have never attempted to cook at home. Yesterday, we set off to try our hand at cooking up some seafood dishes, under the experienced guidance of Mrs. An at Hidden Hanoi
cooking school. Although this class is listed in some guide books, it is conspicuously absent from our trusty LP. Even quick searches on the internet failed to turn up reviews of this cooking school, although we did find some bad reviews of another class in town, so we had no idea what to expect. Mrs. An asked us to meet her at the Sheraton hotel on West Lake, a swanky place where they tried to shuffle us off as quick as possible - we must have been looking extra scruffy yesterday! This part of Hanoi seems very much like an old European city and very quite compared to the old city. We found out later that 80% of the people living in this area are ex-pats. After a bit of confusion, we finally met up with Mrs. An, a friendly woman who owns the cooking school and also offers unique walking tours around Hanoi. Her English was excellent and we later learned that she is married to an Australian, which explained her Aussy accent.
Our class started off with watching a quick scene from "The Scent of Green Papaya" where the young girl from the country is being taught how to cook for the masters. Mrs. An then discussed with us the importance of different types of food in Northern Vietnamese cooking and gave us a bit of a history lesson in the culture of food in Vietnam. We learned that "no rice, no zao (green vegetables), no meal" and that MSG is an important spice that most Vietnamese would never cook without. Luckily, Mrs. An has developed Vietnamese dishes that do not use MSG and as far as we could tell they were just as good as those with MSG! In Vietnam, the meal is based around the type of vegetable that is being cooked and each vegetable has a specific cooking method. Only green vegetables, and herbs, are considered "zao"; one would never serve potatoes or carrots as a vegetable. A meal typically consists of rice, at least one vegetable dish, and one kind of soup, and if the family is very fortunate, some kind of meat. The soup is eaten at the end of the meal, to sop up the remaining rice and as a liquid instead of a drink.
As we talked about food, Mrs. An's assistant set up the cooking area so that Patrick and I could make the 4 dishes plus dipping sauce that constituted our meal. After surveying the counter with all the ingredients and recipies, An said "Ok, now you cook"! Patrick and I jumped right in, with the assistant of An and her friend, to make sweet and sour shrimp, shrimp and pork spring rolls, snake fish soup, green papaya salad and the fishy dipping sauce. We made everything from scratch and An showed us step by step how to prepare each dish, but allowed us to do the actual cooking. I was surprised at how well our spring rolls turned out, even though I managed to turn the shrimps upside down in one :-) In the end, we cooked for more than an hour and turned out an amazingly good meal! All the while we kept up a lively conversation with Mrs. An, who we found to be interesting and very knowledgable. After dinner, we ate grapefruit dipped in salt and hot pepper and a type of sticky rice that is not cooked! It was all really fantastic. Our class was topped off with a gift basket containing cooking chopsticks, a mortar and pestal for peanuts, and the recipies that we made.
This class has got to be one of the best experiences of our current trip, although it would have been made better if Anh could have joined us.

One down, one to go

2006-09-21T02:29:00.000-07:00

Well, we had our first US Embassy interview today and it went fine. All of the questions they asked us were pretty standard: what are our jobs, do we live with anyone else, do we have other children, is this our first adoption, etc. No surprises, although the interviewer did ask us why Anh was kept in foster care and not at the orphanage. I would have thought that would be pretty obvious - babies get better physical and mental care in a family - but he just didn't see it that way. Oh well, perhaps he doesn't have any kids of his own. Now we just wait. If we are very lucky, we might get our second interview as early as Tuesday or Wednesday and then we would have Anh's visa the following day. We are not holding our breath, though, and we are getting out enjoying what time we have here in Hanoi! So far, we have a local tour booked to see the nearby villages, and we are trying to arrange a cooking class. Of course, there are still so many things to do and see around Hanoi, that I don't think we will ever get bored.

Attachment

2006-09-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

When Patrick and I started the process to adopt from Vietnam, we were excited to find out how young many of the babies being referred were. In fact, we were hoping that our baby would be no more than a couple of months old. We didn't want to miss anything with our child and we were also concerned about attachment issues of an older baby. At referral, Anh was only 5 months old and without medical issues, so we accepted him immediately. I am ashamed to say it, but when I found out that other families were being referred 2 month old babies, I was jealous. I really started buying into the idea that at 8 or 9 months, Anh might be too old! And I thought this knowing that the child we adopt from China will likely be much older. Sad, sad, sad. However, now I have no regrets! Eight months is a perfect age - Anh is curious, independent, learning to crawl and stand, fun to play with, interactive! But what does this all have to do with attachment?
When we first picked Anh up, he didn't smile too much and would just allow anyone to pick him up. Our first dinner out with Anh, the wait staff whisked Anh away and played with him while we ate - to his delight. He was fine when Patrick or I would hold him and care for him, but mostly he was just indifferent. Over the past week and a half everything has changed! Anh loves to play and is mostly a very happy baby, only getting cranky when he is hungry or really tired. And he would rather be in my arms than anyone else's. Today, we went back to that original restaurant for lunch and again the women offered to hold Anh while we ate. Within 5 minutes of being away from us, Anh was inconsolable - of course until he was brought back to my arms! A week ago, Anh would have rather been in any Vietnamese woman's arms than mine, now he reaches out for me when someone else is holding him. I think he is very attached - and even actively so!
These are definitely the little joys of motherhood in adoption. Now, I just have to work on getting him to sleep without having to be rocked in my arms.......

Tam Coc

2006-09-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

We decided today to brave a one day tour to Tam Coc with Anh. Tam Coc is suppose to be the Halong Bay on land because of it's tall limestone cliffs that grow straight up out of the plains. As usual, booking through the hotel meant being cramped into a 14 seat "van" with every seat occupied. It always amazes me that they can fill every tour we have been on no matter what day it runs. Also, as usual, we were the lucky recipients of the rear seats, squished in with no way to escape unless all the other passenger disembarked first. Figures for a person who is claustrophobic - luckily working around an MRI has greatly reduced my fear of tight spaces :-)
The ride was a very bumpy 2.5 hours, with a stop to see the ancient Vietnam capital. Anh's sweaty body in my arms made it difficult to fully enjoy the ruins. Not to mention that I was looking for a good place to change him the whole time we were there. I didn't suppose it was proper to change a screaming baby's diaper near one of the sacred rooms!
At Tam Coc itself, we all boarded small row boats, 2 passengers per boat, for the 2 hour trip on the river. It was very kind of the locals to provide us an umbrella and a hat in exchange for a few dong. Aside from the scenic nature of the boat trip along the cliffs, there were no car horns, no people yelling, no motorbikes trying to run you down. Peace and quite and a chance to relax. Well, at least until Anh blew his diaper! Yes, our first explosion experience, in a small row boat, with no spare clothing, but at least a spare diaper. It was fairly hilarious trying to hold Anh and his umbrella while cleaning the bottom of the boat, my pants, and his bottom. It was probably the highlight of the day for our "guide".
Other than that small mishap, the rest of the trip was leisurely. We saw everyday life on the river - people fishing, praying at shrines, and selling their wares to tourists. There were brahman cattle, mountain goats (!), and a strange bird with iridescent wings and a long beak for catching fish. The river itself has carved its way through 3 caves in the cliffs where stalagtites grow from the ceiling and you must crouch down in the boat to pass. It was a day of wonder away from the bussle of Hanoi.
Back on the bus, and after a short formula induced nap, Anh decided that play time had started. He has become more and more vocal, and was talking and singing to himself and anyone else who would listen. As soon as the woman in front of us took notice, he began squealing with delite and putting on his best flirt face. I had to pull him back for fear of him grabbing hold of her hair. He is quite strong and has a death grip. So, Patrick and I spent the 2.5 hour ride back distracting Anh so that he wouldn't pitch a fit. Unfortunately, a new bottle wouldn't do, so instead the bottle top became a play thing. Play time continued back at the hotel, through dinner, and right up until 9pm. One second he was bouncing his hands on the bed talking up a storm and the next second his hands came down, he became quite, and he started snoring. Ahhhh, a boy who takes after his mom and can fall asleep in seconds flat!
Another day down in the books!

The Hunger of A Baby

2006-09-16T06:09:00.000-07:00

OK, I'll admit it. I didn't start reading the "How To" baby books until we had a baby. I knew a little, like which end to put the food in and which end to put the diaper on, but that was about the extent of it. So I've been cramming. One of the things that I read in Dr. Spock's book is that in general, babies are less food picky before the age of one. Before one years old, they are just trying to pack the calories away to keep up with their rapidly expanding bodies. He's not kidding. I couldn't figure out why Ahn/Quinn has been a tad cranky lately. I think it was partly because we weren't feeding him enough. Today we got serious and fed him: 2 types of baby food, cracker, pho broth, chicken skin, chicken liver, spaghetti sauce, 4.5 bottles and it's only 8 pm. On top of this he got TWO long naps! This equals a boy who is still happy after Shula has gone to bed. It doesn't seem to matter what we stick in his mouth, his face lights up and he squeals with delight. I'm sure that he'll get more picky after the age of one, but for now, he loves the food here as much as I do and that makes the experience that much richer.

oops

2006-09-16T02:19:00.000-07:00

I finally saw the last picture I posted on this blog and realized that it is actually Trang, another family's little girl! Well, you can still follow the link to see all the pics of Anh, and some of Trang.
It is now the weekend and the family seems to be recovering from a little illness. Nothing terribly bad, but it kept us in bed for the last day. Tomorrow we are going on a tour to Tam Coc. It is a full day tour and hopefully Anh will manage OK. I think he will probably sleep much of the time anyhow.

One thought that keeps weighing on my mind is how we are going to keep Vietnam alive for Anh. I think about all the sights and smells that are so different back home. The crazy traffic in Hanoi, with no obvious rules of the road; the nuoc mam (fish sauce) smell that permeates everything; the little sidewalk cafes that only appear during meal times; the tiny plastic tables and chairs that everyone sits on to eat and drink bia hoi; the love that all people shower on the babies of Vietnam. He will miss all this and grow up in our organized, impersonal, sterile environment. I want him to know all that he has in both cultures and hopefully, he will still find a place in his heart for Vietnam, his homeland.
Today I ate pho at a small street stand. The woman making the soup decided to feed Anh small pieces of chicken skin, which he loved! He even loved the very slightly spiced broth, which he demanded by the small spoonful. He is a good eater and currently not picky. As long as he remains open to different foods, he will fit into our home easily!

Food, glorious food

2006-09-14T20:53:00.000-07:00

Vietnam has some of our favorite food, so we thought we would share just a few dishes that we love in Hanoi. This post is also somewhat for our scapbook, so that we always remember.

Bun cha (pron. boon cha) - really yummy fried pork patties in a broth with noodles and fresh herbs. There is an excellent bun cha restaurant around the corner from the Lucky. Head out the front door and take a left, another left at the corner, and another left at the next corner and it is right there on your left. They have 3 floors of tables and you don't have to speak any Vietnamese because you walk in, they seat you, and then bring you their specialty. It is good and only as hot as you make it yourself. We ate there yesterday, and they wait staff whisked Anh away to babysit while we ate.

Cha ca - fried fish patties, also with some kind of broth and I think noodles. There is a place called Cha Ca La Vong which is a taxi ride from the Lucky. We ate there a few years ago and it was wonderful. Again, they only serve one dish, so no need to speak any Vietnamese (although learning "thank you" and "that was delicious" might not be a bad idea :-)

pho (pron. fa-a, with a slight uplilt in the tone)- the famous Vietnamese noodle soup, served in the morning mostly. You almost can't go wrong if you find a small Vietnamese cafe with lots of people eating. Just remember to pronounce it correctly, otherwise the Vietnamese have no idea what you are looking for!

Thursday

2006-09-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

We finally had our Giving and Receiving (G&R) ceremony yesterday afternoon. This is the official Vietnamese adoption ceremony where we become the real and legal parents to Anh. Yes, it is finally legal. Now we just have to convince our government that it was also legit. Today Anh had his medical exam for his US visa and we applied for his Vietnamese passport. At the medical, the doctor checked him out from head to toe and then pronounced that he was "too healthy"! I guess he is accustomed to other babies who are ill from the orphanage. It is true that Anh seems to be the exeption, as most of the children have at least some kind of virus. Anh officially weighs 19 lbs, which is actually less than we were speculating. I guess he just feels heavier.
So to recap our in-country timeline thus far
Arrival on Sunday Sep 10
Received Anh on Monday Sep 11
G&R ceremony on Wednesday Sep 13
Medical and passport on Thursday Sep 14
We are still waiting to hear about the US Embassy appointment

It still amazes me how much the Vietnamese, women and men alike, love babies. Every time we go anywhere, Anh is always getting touched and cooed at and smiled at. Everyone is curious whether he is Vietnamese and where he is going to live. This morning, our driver was so thrilled when I handed him Anh and he planted a million kisses all over his head. And yesterday, the men working at our hotel wouldn't let Anh down and just kept playing with them. This is something I can't imagine happening in the States. Restaurants are always fun because the staff come and whisk away the babies so that parents can eat in peace. Last night our whole group went out for dinner and all the babies were taken by the wait staff while we ate. One by one, each baby returned to the table except Anh. After a while I felt strange that he was being passed around the staff (and even around the tables of Vietnamese) so I took him back. A few minutes passed and one waitress came over under the guise of determining whether I was finished. When I said "yes, go ahead and take my plate" she replied "can I take your baby" and she whisked him away again, leaving my dirty plate! Again, at lunch today, Anh went off with the servers and they just loved him! I think that he eats up all the attention.
Speaking of lunch, we discovered that one of the best bun cha restaurants is around the corner from our hotel! We were so pleased to have found it and had a wonderful lunch there. Bun cha is a traditional Hanoi dish of fried pork patties in a soup-like broth with noodles and fresh herbs. It was delicious - I think we might become regulars.
I am trying to add photos to our album daily. The link hasn't changed, but here it is again
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AYuGjJu0cuXQw
Cheers,
Shula

Continued....

2006-09-12T05:16:00.000-07:00

Since everyone keeps asking...
Anh is 8 months old exactly! We don't know how much he weighs, but we are guessing it is more than 20 lbs. He is mobile and vocal - loves to talk. And, he is pulling himself up to standing on his own and will take steps if I hold his hands. I think it is amazing that his little legs can bear all that weight :-) The other families here think he will be walking before we go home. This is somthing of a problem, because 1) we are stuck in a hotel room waiting for the phone to ring and 2) because we are NOT prepared for quite so mobile of a little boy back home! I guess we will just have to adjust.
He is sort of sleeping through the night. He woke up once last night and wanted a bottle, then wanted to play for a little while, but Patrick rocked him back to sleep. Then he was out until we woke him up in the morning.
We found out today that he was being fed some rice cerial, so we went out and bought cerial and baby food. Boy did his eyes light up when we started preparing "real" food! And he grinned the whole time he was eating it. One problem, he wants to feed himself, but mostly just gets it all over the place. He even ate some banana and was eyeing my pizza.
Unfortunately, we haven't had our G&R (the official Vietnamese adoption ceremony) yet. Without that we can't get Anh's passport, which we need to get our first US Embassy appointment for his visa to come home. Apparently, the Embassy is slowing down, so there are no appointments until next week and then it will take another week for our second appointment. Yeah, these babies might be terrorists! There is now the possibility it will take us longer than 3 weeks to complete this part of the adoption!
Wish us luck and good carma and all that, that things will go smoothly and quickly!
P.S. We have chosen the name Quinn but are still calling him Anh. Old habbits are hard to break!

more pictues!

2006-09-11T19:16:00.000-07:00

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AYuGjJu0cuXQw

Anh is HUGE!

2006-09-11T05:26:00.000-07:00

All of the 6-9 month old clothes that I bought for Anh will not fit! He is ginormous! He seems like a well loved, and well fed baby - definitely will not fit in the bassinet on the plane ride home.

This morning, we left Hanoi at 11am for the 1.5 hour drive out to the orphanage. As we left the city and drove along the rice paddies, I kept thinking about how I would be able describe to Anh what Vietnam was like. It is easy to see that, by the time he is old enough, there will be little left of the marsh like country side.
The orphanage was much better than I expected and the women caring for the babies seem to really love them. Anh was transfered to the orphanage about 10 days ago when the police decided that they didn't want any babies in foster care. Apparently, the foster mother was crying when she dropped off Anh. Luckily, he doesn't seem too worse for the wear. He has a few bug bites, but is big, strong, and curious! We feel very lucky.

Baby Day!!

2006-09-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

Today is the day we get to finally meet Anh! We will leave our hotel at 11am our time for the drive to the orphanage. Not exactly sure why we are going to the orphanage unless Anh is being brought there for us or if he was already transferred there a while ago. I guess we will find out! Unfortunately, they couldn't schedule our G&R until tomorrow, so we will not be official until then.

Hello Hanoi!

2006-09-10T02:59:00.000-07:00

We made it! After 24 hours in transit we are finally in Hanoi. China Airlines turns out to be a fine airline, although their seats are a bit small. Poor Patrick had to fold in half to fit.
On the last leg of our trip, we were on the plane with a big group of Vietnam Vets from the Marines. They were on a sort of pilgrimage to visit the sites where they had been stationed 40 years ago. Amazing that it was that long ago. I sat next to a man who had been retired when he stepped on a land mine and lost a leg. He was still quite the supporter of our nation's military and it was very interesting speaking with him about the war. Quite a different perspective from that of the Vietnamese we talked with the last time we were in Vietnam! He spoke of how proud he was of the soldiers he fought with and how the US really should have won, but we gave up instead. I have a feeling that our political beliefs are a bit different, but luckily we didn't get into politics at all.
Landing in Hanoi was quite a relief and it felt good to smell the smells and see the sights on the way to the hotel. It seems that very little has changed, although perhaps there are a few more cars on the road. Of course, we shared the road with many motorcycles piled high with people, luggage, shoes, boxes, and other things I couldn't determine. The highway wound through rice paddies where people were up to their knees working along side of enormous billboards advertising all of the current Western amenities you could buy if you could afford them. New tall buildings, clean and sparkeling, with beautiful gardens, sat next to shanty towns and their markets. Ahhhh Vietnam.
Our hotel, The Lucky 2, is much better than I expected! At first, we were put off at spending 4x as much for a guesthouse as we had the last time we were here. However, this hotel is centrally located, has big rooms with nice bathrooms, WINDOWS in the room, safes, and a great staff! And besides, there are other adoptive families here, which is nice for the support. So far I am pretty pleased.

One day until liftoff....

2006-09-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

Our bags are packed and we are ready to go.......
Sort of.
We finally head off tomorrow evening for Vietnam. It still does not feel real. I suppose that we won't believe it until we land in Hanoi. OK, at least when we get onto the plane we will know that all our preparative work is over. Maybe not completed, but finished for now. A bit scarey, if you think about it. In just 4 short days we will be "mom and dad". Wow!
Actually, I feel like we are pretty much ready to leave. Somehow, this thought scares me because I wonder if there must be something we are missing. We have hired a house sitter for the dog and cats, stopped our newspaper, paid our bills, gotten our passports in order, packed for the three of us, cleaned the house, prepared the baby's room... hmmmmmm, anything else?
I am so excited to be visiting Vietnam again! I know this trip will be nothing like the first, but it will still be nice to be in SE Asia again. Although I am looking forward to the visit, I am dreading the plane ride. Twenty-four hours in transit and a 14 hour single leg is nothing to look forward to. Keep your fingers crossed that there are good movies on the flight.
For now, and until we receive Anh, I'm signing off as:
Shula, future parent :-)

We are going to Vietnam!

2006-08-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

Our travel approval arrived, so we will be leaving Eugene on September 8 and arriving in Vietnam on the 10th. Looks like we will be there for 3 weeks! Everything is pretty hectic at home, trying to clean the house up, buy last minute items, and pack our bags.
Oh, and we have a new picture of Anh!

The waiting game continues

2006-08-19T19:19:00.000-07:00

We are now 3 weeks out from our first tentative travel date - September 10. I am trying not to get my hopes up because I have already seen 5 families travel before us who had their paperwork done after us. A bit frustrating, but all a part of the experience, I guess. We were told that we would not have a definitive travel date until 2 weeks prior to travel, which doesn't give us much time to find and book a flight. I'm guessing that it also means that travel will be expensive.
Our nursery is all set up! We have a crib (thank you Rob and Crystal for letting us borrow this very special piece of furniture), a toy box, some clothing (thanks to Jason and Melissa), and a very cool wooden kitchen. Patrick's dad and step mom sent us the Ergo baby carrier, which will make tending to the baby while working around the house easy for the stay at home dad :-)
I also ordered a car seat off of the internet. In our usual form, we had to have the "best" one avaliable - the Britax Boulevard with side impact head pads. Today I cleaned the car in anticipation of installing the seat. As soon as I get word that we will travel, that seat is going in! Then things will start to get real.....
Tomorrow, a friend is throwing me a baby shower. It feels a bit funny to have a shower, when I am not pregnant and we still don't know when we will have our child in the flesh. But, it is nice that some friends are coming down who I haven't seen in a very long time. I guess it is all good!
Keep your fingers crossed that we get our TA (travel approval) soon!

2006-08-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

Our Vietnam visas are in hand and we are ready to travel at a moment's notice! I guess the Vietnam government is pretty laid back about handing out visas because we had no problem getting the 3 month version. When I originally called, they told me that they only approve 1 month visas for tourists, but apparently if you just tell them on the form you want a visa for 3 months, and you say something vague about visiting family, then they will give it to you. Good for us, since we still don't know exactly when we will travel, but are hoping it is sometime before November 15th, when our visa will expire.
Luckily, the new job is keeping me pretty busy! It is so nice to feel like I have full time work again. It is definitely a totally different culture, though, in industry. Much more bottom line driven and not so much on the actual science being done. But, it kind of satisfies the business side of me.
Well, my better half and a half has just arrived home so I will sign off!

Life keeps rolling on....

2006-07-30T09:01:00.000-07:00

Things have been kind of crazy lately, and trying to post has been impossible! Nothing new with our adoption, however, I started a new job 2 weeks ago at Invitrogen. So far, I love the job - good supervisor, interesting project, cool people to work with. Although I still miss everyone at LCNI, it was the right decision to take the new position. Of course, I can't really talk about what I do at Invitrogen, but suffice it to say that I am finally doing the kind of research I was trained for. Yahoooo!
One good piece of news is that the first two families adopting from Vietnam through PLAN are traveling in the next week or two. So, we should have lots of details about what their experience is and it might make it a bit easier to plan for our trip. I am still hoping we will get to travel in September, but it is likely we won't have definite information until 2 weeks before we have to be in Vietnam. Scarey!

Our nursery is started to get crowded. We borrowed a crib from a friend and now it is set up in the room along with the queen bed already in there. Something has to go, because it is starting to look like a big storage room. It's a bit weird to have the crib - everything is starting to feel real.

Oh, I almost forgot, last weekend I went on my first long bike ride! Kathleen and I rode in Cycle Oregon (weekend ride) from Eugene to Oakland, OR and back. 70 miles each day! It was hotter then hell last weekend (112 at one point) but we both made it none for the worse. It was a beautiful ride and I sure hope that I get back to those country roads on my own sometime. It was also great to realize that I can do long rides (although, next time it will have to be a bit cooler and I need a granny gear for the mountains).

That all for now. I'll try to keep up on the posting a bit more, but summertime is the worst time for me to try to stay inside.......

Waiting, waiting, waiting......

2006-07-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

I can't stand the wait!! Finally emailed our agency this morning and found out that our paperwork has been translated and will be filed Tuesday morning (tonight, our time). Keep your fingers crossed that they decide to approve us! Still no word on how soon we might travel, but it looks like our agency's first families will travel mid August. Does this mean we might travel in September sometime? I sure hope so. I keep dreaming that the China program speeds up and we end up with two small children at the same time. Yikes!

Dossier en route to Vietnam!

2006-06-28T15:35:00.000-07:00

Yup, I just got the email that our dossier is back from the Embassy and on its way to Vietnam! I have no idea how long it takes to get there, but I am guessing only a couple of days by DHL. Wow, can you believe that it was less than a month from the time we decided to go ahead with this adoption to having all of our paperwork completed and on its way to Vietnam. The planets are aligning for us!

It's Picture Time!

2006-06-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to, but now I have to! We received new pictures of Anh today and I am just getting giddy! One of these pictures shows Anh with the PLAN coordinator in Vietnam. I sure wish he was home already with us, but these will have to do for now. Still no word on where our dossier is - it should come back to the agency this week sometime and get sent off to Vietnam next week. But, sometimes there are delays as we well know from our experience getting ready for Vietnam. Keep your fingers crossed!

We're off to the races...

2006-06-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

I feel like we are really moving so quickly with this new adoption. It certainly has helped that we had a relationship with our agency, our fingerprints were clean, and we wanted a boy. We are now getting closer and closer to picking up Anh.
Yesterday I spent nearly the entire day driving around picking up documents, having them certified, and then delivering them back to our agency. It was nearly 6 hours of driving, but it saved more than a week's worth of mailing back and forth! And, it meant that sometime yesterday afternoon our documents were mailed out to the Vietnam Embassy in San Francisco to be authenticated. Once they are back from SF, they will move on to Vietnam for translation and logging in. They could be in Vietnam by the end of June, but more likely it will be in the first week in July. Darn 4th, mucking everything up ;-).
We were told by our agency that travel could happen as soon as 4 weeks after log in, but I am guessing it will likely be longer. I'm still hoping that we will go before the end of the year, maybe in October or November. Every time I sit at my desk I look at my picture of Anh and I just want to go get him NOW!
Shula

A Bullet Was Dodged.....

2006-06-19T15:50:00.000-07:00

We are blessed to have such great family! Not only has everyone been completely supportive in our decision to adopt, but the whole family seems truely excited to meet our new son. Top that off with the following story of an incredible helping hand from across the country...
As soon as we decided to pursue this second adoption, we knew we needed to put our paperwork together quickly. The only document which we could not pick up in person was our certified marriage certificate. Going through our old paperwork from China, I found a second certificate that we had not used and sent that off right away for re-certification by the state of Rhode Island. I was expecting the finished document to come in the mail sometime during the week of June 12-16 and sure enough we had an envelope in our box on Friday afternoon. Imagine my surprise when I opened the envelope to find my original certificate and the uncashed check! Unfortunately, RI could not certify a marriage license issued from a town, only a state issued copy would do. By some chance, I was home during the day and was able to catch the department in charge in RI, even with the time difference before the close of business for the week. The result? There are only two ways to obtain the proper document: (1) mail a request with the proper checks, a signed letter, and a postage paid return envelope or (2) have a blood relative appear in person to pick one up. The first method would take about 4 weeks, the second could be done in one day! Unfortunately, my mother had just left for Europe and would not be back for 3 weeks. Quickly, I called my aunt Karen in Rhode Island and asked if she might have the time to help. She too was about to leave out of town on Tuesday, but might be able to go to the city on Monday! Now mind you, the city is on the other side of the state - a small state, but the other side none-the-less. I don't like to ask people for favors, but I really felt like I had to in this instance - the time until we could pick up our child depended on it! She was cautious about promising it could happen, but I had plenty of hope.
Of course, I didn't just sit back and wait to see what happened. Immediately, I put all the required documents and fees in the mail with an overnight envelope for the return. I would rather pay a little extra and have two, than not have any.

On Monday morning I got the call. Aunt Karen was able to get the necessary documents and seals and had sent it on its way to our agency. We also found out that my cousin would have helped us out, had Karen been unsuccessful. We have a wonderful family and I am so proud to say that I am a part of it. I can't wait for our son to meet these wonderful people who helped to bring him home.

THANK YOU SO MUCH AUNT KAREN!!

Medical on its way

2006-06-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

In complete contrast with the adoption process in China, not only do we already have a tentative referral from Vietnam, but all of the paperwork on this little boy is on its way to us. We will need to have the medical information looked at by a pediatrician familiar with these things and then if everything looks good..... well, we will have a little boy!
Our HS will be completed by early next week, and then I will drive up to Portland and Salem to have all of the paperwork certified. Wow, I just can't believe how quickly everything is moving!

Picking berries

2006-06-13T18:27:00.000-07:00

One of the most relaxing things that I do these days is to pick rasberries off of the bush outside our house when I get home from work. Even though I always come away with scratches all over my arms, it is very meditative. Today, I was picking berries and thinking about how much fun it will be when I can do this with my children. Yes, I said children, as in the plural of child.
Now you may think that I am thinking about sometime in the future after we come back from China etc etc, but actually I mean much much sooner. No, I am not pregnant!
As you may or may not know, the wait time for adoption from China has quite quickly increased from the 7 months it was when we started our process to close to 12 months now. Most agencies are telling their clients that the wait is between 12 and 18 months from log in date (LID). You can see from our time-line at the top of the page, we still have quite a long time to wait. However, the program for adoptions from Vietnam has recently re-opened and the wait times are quite low so far. In an unusual move, our adoption agency has allowed us to begin another adoption so that we will have two concurrent processes!
So, what does this all mean? Last Monday we gave the idea some thought and by Tuesday our paperchase had begun! In this short week we have completed all of our paperwork except for the homestudy and our social worker says that she can complete the 4-page study quickly! Keep your fingers crossed that these things go as quickly as we hope. In fact, our agency has already assigned us a boy and we have a picture, although we are not going to look at it until we are sure that the paperwork is in good order. Once our HS is ready, it will take a week to be authenticated by the Vietnam Embassy in SF and then off to Vietnam it will go to be translated and logged in. This process is taking about 3 weeks, and then there seems to be about a 3 month wait to travel. It is very possible that we could be coming home by the end of 2006 with a son!
All that said, the adoption process is an ever changing landscape, so who knows how quickly, or slowly, this could go. There is also the possibility that this will take a bit longer and the China adoption a bit less time and we could be coming home with two children back to back. A little scary, but OK, I think.
All in all, it has been an exciting week!

Unplanned Adoption

2006-06-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

I'm sure this is on every adoption blog by now, but I just had to add it to mine. I thought it was funny and it has some special meaning to us now - to be explained at some later date!

Unplanned Adoption
Have you ever noticed that you hear all the time about "accidental" pregnancies, but never about couples who experience "accidental" adoptions? Can you imagine:

Honey, sit down. I have some news for you.

What is it?

Well, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just come out with it. I went out to the mailbox today and ... well, we got an I-171H.

A what?!? An I-171H? As in, we're going to have a(nother) baby?!?

It looks that way.

But how? We've been so careful! I put away all the blank I-600A forms. Didn't you hide our homestudy update?

Of course I did. But don't forget, there was that one night...

What night? (pauses) Ohhh, that night. But it was only once. We were just messing around. I didn't print clearly. I didn't even use ink! (pauses again) But it was kind of fun.

(giggles)

It was, wasn't it? I'll never forget how cute you looked getting your fingerprints.

So now we've got our I-171H, eh? But that doesn't always mean you'll adopt, does it? I mean, shouldn't you see the agency or something, make sure everything's okay?

I already did.

And?

I'm five documents along.

Five documents! And they're all notarized, certified and authenticated okay?

Just great. There was one small scare when the agency couldn't see the Notary's middle initial, but it showed up just fine under the magnifying glass.

Thank God. And you, honey? Are you feeling okay?

I'm feeling fine. As long as I know you're happy about this.

Happy? I'm thrilled! It's always a shock at first when something like this happens, but of course I'm happy.

--Anonymous

WE'RE OFFICIAL!!

2006-05-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

We got our log in date -- APRIL 29th!! Can you believe that it was only a week from the date our documents were sent to China! Even our agency was surprised. Usually, it takes 4-6 weeks to log in. Finally, we are ahead of the game. It is almost like we sent in our documents in March.
The wait is still at 9 1/2 - 10 months, but could get longer (or, less likely, shorter). We are going to need all this time to get the house ready for another human being. We still have big plans to remodel the kitchen and bath before the little one arrives. Hope everything can get done!

The waiting game

2006-05-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

Now that we have begun the "Long Wait", I thought I might share with you a little something. This picture shows the room where all our painstakingly collected, notarized, authenticated, stamped, sealed, and translated documents are now sitting. In this room, all of the dossiers from all over the world are stored until matching day. I'm assuming that each cubby represents the LID (log in date) for the stack of dossiers within it. I have been told that each colored folder holds the dossiers for an individual agency. Does this show the enormity of the job ahead, or what? Hopefully they are better organized than I am and nothing gets lost in the shuffle!

photos from last night

2006-05-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

The cabinets are in! The counter is drying and we are priming the cabinets for painting. Here are some pictures to peak your interest. Notice what a beautiful arch Patrick made!

It is so close, we can taste it.....

2006-05-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Yes, folks, the remodeling of the back room is almost done! The plasterer did a fantastic job and we painted as soon as we could. I chose a color called "Navaho White", which went on a bit more yellow than I expected, but looks great now! The cabinets are in place and will be bolted to the wall tonight. The last little bit will be installing the floor heat and then the tile floor on top. It all sounds so doable now.
I am posting a few pictures which now seem a bit out of date. They show Patrick's beautiful arch in the "raw" state and how the room looked with only the blue board up. Oh, and there is a nice shot of Patrick's window sill all painted to match the house. I'll try to get some photos of the painted plaster tonight, so keep your eyes tuned!
Shula

We have a Group Number!!

2006-04-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

We are now almost completely officially a waiting family. Read on for the letter we received this morning!

PLAN Loving Adoptions Now Inc.

1975-2005 Celebrating 30 Years of Excellence

Dear Patrick & Shula,

Your dossier was sent to China 4/21/06! Your group number is 127B and it looks like you will be traveling with about 10 other families. Three of them are direct PLAN families. The wait is still about 9 1/2 months from your official log in date. Your dossier should log in with the CCAA in 2-4 weeks, but we won't know what the exact official date is for several months.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Congratulations!

Susan

Adoption update

2006-04-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

Our dossier was received by the translator yesterday. This is the last North American stop before heading to China. I guess everything went smoothly at the state and national levels because all our approvals, signatures, stamps, and seals are in!
The latest is that we should expect our paperwork to be sent to China on or around the 25th of April - just another couple of weeks. Our agency said it will probably take 2-3 months once it is sent before we are "logged in" and are given an LID (log-in date). This is an ever so precious time because it is the start of our *real* wait and we are then considered a "waiting family" by the International adoption community. Kind of silly, since we feel like we have been waiting since we started this whole process, last September. The current "wait" to referral from China once a family has a LID is 10-12 months, followed by a 2 month wait until approval for travel. This time frame could change at any time, but we hope it gets shorter and not longer. So, folks, we are now looking at bringing home our daughter sometime mid to late 2007, if we are lucky. It's like the gestation period of an elephant.

We return from the White Rim and are approved by the INS!

2006-03-27T15:24:00.000-08:00

Can you believe that the US government has completed part of our paperwork FASTER than they were suppose to? Yes, folks, we received our I-171H approval to adopt a foreign orphan last Friday. And somehow, we managed to get it signed, notarized, and Express mailed to our agency today! One more hurdle is jumped, now all that is left is for all the documents to be authenticated by the State of Oregon, the US State Department, and the Chinese Embassy. We are so close to having our paperwork sent to China I can almost feel it. And then the REAL wait will begin. At this time, the wait is about 10 months........

Our trip on the White Rim last week was an unqualified success. The weather was surprisingly beautiful, even though everyone kept claiming it would snow on us. We did see a short snow storm one night after we were tucked away in our sleeping bags. Big gusts of wind scattered our camp around, but the only remainder in the morning was a little crust of snow on the bikes.
I am hoping to write up a series of posts detailing our trip, but for now you can chew on the following data that was collected by Bob on his GPS during the trip. One graph shows our altitude and relative speed, the other shows humidity and temperature. Since his GPS was sitting in his camelback next to the water bladder the entire time, the temperature data is probably a little off. But you get the general idea.

Our new cabinets are here!!

2006-03-12T21:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, so 2 months have passed without so much as a peep. We've been crazy busy, but I guess that is no excuse, considering the lives of other bloggers out there. I'm going to keep it short and simple...
Adoption update: We finally went for our INS fingerprinting last week. It took our agency almost a month and a half to approve our homestudy. There was nothing wrong with it, people just kept taking vacations. The fingerprinting is the last part that we have to take care of. Now, we wait for the INS to approve our application. Once that happens, in a month or two, then our paperwork goes to the state for authentication. After that, a courier takes it to DC, first to the state department for their seal, then to the Chinese Embassy for their seal. It is then sent by FedEx to our translator who does the translation and then sends it directly to China. If we are very lucky, the whole process will take only 2 months until it is sent to China. But that is only if we are VERY lucky. More waiting.....

The house: We managed to open up an outside wall in our house and close it again, none too quickly. Patrick fabricated new siding to match the original stuff and a window sill that is beautiful! I'm posting pictures, but without seeing what the window looked like originally, I'm not sure you can have any idea the magic he worked. Another big accomplishment was installing most of the sheet rock. I say most, because as we were installing we realized that there are some fairly important issues we need to resolve before finishing the walls. For example, we had ethernet cable coming out of one wall, but it was not integrated into a box. I quickly learned how to wire a phone and DSL line, and we now have a real outlet for both. But, these little things take time.
Ooooh, our cabinets came and they are beautiful! I am so impressed with the job that the Cabinet Factory did. The fit the space perfectly! The designer even surprised me by including a cap for the half wall that I wasn't expecting. I hope you can get an idea from the pictures, but I just invite you all to visit and see for yourself. Well, maybe wait a couple more months until we are really finished with the project. We've decided to take on plastering ourselves. Will be heading up to Portland for a class in early April, so will give more details then.

Tomorrow we are heading off for a week of biking in Moab. A little respite from working on the house constantly! Hope you all are well

Shula

Pouring the new slab

2006-01-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

Another small hurdle

2006-01-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

We finished our Home Study!! Ok, so it's been almost 2 weeks, but I was hoping to include that our fingerprints had come back too. No such luck.
For our home study, our social worker came over and interviewed each of us individually and then together. She asked us to recite our life stories from birth until today and then asked us a bunch of personal questions. Although these interviews can last for more than 8 hours (usually split up over 2 or more days), ours was a quick 4 hour appointment. Phew, I think we got through it unscathed. Our social worker is great and we all really seemed to get along. She even loved Frisbee!
The next step is to get approval from the INS, but we can't even send them our paperwork until our state background check comes back. We were assured that it would be any day now, but this is the government we are talking about.
I also found out today that we have to redo a bunch of the paperwork for our dossier. It isn't holding us up yet, since we are still waiting for the state to get their gears moving. However, it is a bit depressing to have to go back to all these people and ask them to redo work that they spent so much time putting together in the first place. The main person is our doctor, who has been so patient and understanding. He has had to redo a form twice and write us each personal letters. Now they have to be redone just because a date was incorrect. I feel awful calling and asking, but it has to be done.
Once our dossier is in order we send it to the INS for approval, which also may take a while. Then all the paperwork is taken by courier to DC to be authenticated by the US government, then translated, then sent off to China where it sits for a month before being logged in. It isn't until that point that they actually consider us a "waiting parent", and we will be "waiting parents" for at least 7 months. The length and complexity of this process is all very discouraging.

In other news, we are well into the remodel of our mud/utility/pantry room. Maybe someone out there can think of a good all-encompassing name for it....
Yesterday we were framing in a new wall and tearing up the old vinyl on one floor. Unfortunately, as the vinyl was removed, we realized that half of the floor was rotten. The problem is two-fold:
1. The side of the house was originally left open to the elements and water was allowed to come in. This meant that with all our wonderful Oregon rain, the boards on that side of the room always remained damp.
2. The floor boards were attached to flooring joists which were laid directly on top of the dirt. Yes, we did find some pests, although no termites, thankfully!

After careful consideration we decided that the only course of action was to tear up the remaining floor and replace it with a concrete slab. This sets us back at least a couple of weeks, which is only really an issue considering we have scheduled the new electrical to go in next week. Since we don’t want to have to reschedule the electrician again, you all can guess what we will be up to this weekend…… Get in that floor and let it dry a couple of days so that people can at least walk on it!
We had also hired a guy to install our new doors and windows. He had planned to start work today however it seems that he has bailed on us. Not too surprising, since our job is really small potatoes. Perhaps we are going to have to learn the art of framing and installing the new openings.
I guess when all is said and done it is a good thing that the adoption is taking so long. Maybe we will be finished with this stage of the remodel by the time our daughter arrives!

The Home Study!

2005-12-05T16:36:00.000-08:00

We pushed and we pushed and we finally finished our autobiographies last Monday! What a trial that was trying to get it all completed and out to Plan, but we did it. Now we wait for our fingerprints to come back, which should be any day now.
In the mean time, Plan has assigned us to a social worker and we are expecting our home study to begin within the next 2 weeks! This is a huge step for us! When we finish the home study, we will again have to get fingerprinted and have all our paperwork authenticated and translated. Then it is off to China! Keep your fingers crossed that we can get everything in by the end of February........

We are also pushing ahead with our remodel. It is a good thing too, because it is keeping our minds off of the wait for our daughter. We have started with the little back room off the kitchen, which was quite a mess! Patrick and Steve have found some interesting "modifications", but nothing that can't be dealt with by those two! Patrick also found a decorated wooden block that said "Merry Christmas" on it! What timing!
We have now enlarged the doorway between the kitchen and the new mudroom/utility room, purchased a exterior door and window, hired an electrician, and are deciding on floor tile. Oh, and we are trying to figure out what to do about cabinets. The stock cabinets that you can buy at the big chain hardware stores don't really go with the house. We might need to have something custom built, or just purchase a nice piece of furniture for the space. Any ideas??

I'll try to post some before and current pictures when I have a chance.

The Certificates Are Here!

2005-11-18T14:48:00.000-08:00

This may not seem like big news to all of you, but our Birth and Marriage Certificates have arrived and are on their ways to being authenticated! This is great news to us because sometimes these states take their sweet time to get official documents mailed out. One small hurdle is behind us! I was actually pretty nervous about my birth certificate from Michigan because it was the last one to come and it was taking quite a while. The other two states at least responded quickly so we knew that they were processing the requests. Michigan, however, was completely silent. In fact, I was nervous enough that they hadn't recieved my request that I sent a new request through the internet. So, I'll end up with 3 new birth certificates to add to my pile of 5 others with older dates.
Our advocate at the agency thinks that things will start to speed up now, but I am trying not to get my hopes up too much. I keep thinking to future dates of when things might start to happen, but I know this is a dangerous game. We have already been delayed by almost 2 months, and more delays wouldn't be unheard of. I just keep hoping that by Christmas 2006 we will have our daughter home with us.

We are still pressing on with our autobiographies and they are taking much longer than I had hoped. It's not easy summing up 34 years in a short essay. I keep finding interesting (at least I think so) parts of my life that I want to write about. Will anybody really want to read all this? I wonder how bored the social worker gets reading about everyone's *exciting* lives?

Time moves like molasses

2005-11-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

Time keeps ticking by and we are no closer to adopting then we were a month ago. We are still waiting for our fingerprints to return from the state, which is as slow as you would expect. The prints were sent to the state on October 17th, so I really don't expect any word before December 17th. Then with the holidays and all, I can't imagine we will start our homestudy until the beginning of the new year. Our timing just seems to be so off.
I'm also still waiting on my birth certificate from the fine state of Michigan. They had no problem cashing my check over a month ago, but still no word. Our other certificates are already back, which makes me wonder if I sent my request to the wrong office. You would hope that they would at least let you know if there was a problem. I even went so far as to reorder the certificate over the internet today. It should only take about 2 weeks, according to their website.
Patrick is continuing to attend the pre-adopt classes without me. I'm a bit jealous that he gets to meet and talk with other people who are adopting. I hope that he is getting lots of good information. When I get home I'll grill him. :-)
I guess this is going to be another short entry, but everything is moving so slowly that there is nothing much to tell.....

Gathering paperwork

2005-10-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

We finallly finished our correspondence pre-adopt course last week! I really had to push Patrick to finish all the questions, but he did a wonderful job on the book report! Yes, we had to write a book report, although it was not as bad as you might think. In fact, I think we both learned a lot from the particular book "20 things adopted children wish their adoptive parents knew" or something like that.
When we sent our answers into the agency I reallly thought that would be the last obsticle to beginning our homestudy. We had completed our medical forms, our financial forms, and our personal references had sent in their letters. And we were working on our autobiographies.
And then, we got the dreaded note from the International coordinator. We are going to have to wait another 6-8 weeks to begin the homestudy portion. It turns out that because Patrick and I haven't lived in Oregon for 5 years, we need to have fingerprints taken for a state background check. Once the fingerprints get to the proper authorities, they take about 6-8 weeks to return the results. Everything is on hold until then. The real bummer is that it means that our dossier probably won't get sent to China for almost 5 more months. Argghhhh, the waiting! Once it is in China it will be at least 8 months before we are assigned a child and then another 4-8 weeks before we travel. So, we are really still looking at maybe 15 months from now. It really seems like way too long.
Back to the fingerprints....
This morning we went to the sheriff's office to have ours taken. They are now doing everything digitally. It is pretty cool. No more black ink, we just put our fingers on a scanner and the computer scanned them in. Then they were printed on the traditional cards and we have to snail mail them to our agency. You'd think with all this technology they could just transfer them electronically, but no way. Just to top that off, we will have to go back for more fingerprints in a few months when the INS needs them for our international petition. It's funny that the different offices cannot just share the information. But I guess that is nothing new.........

So here we are, only one small baby step farther than we were a month ago. It is a pretty slow process and we are only at the tip of the iceberg.

Starting the pre-adopt class

2005-09-15T14:54:00.000-07:00

I guess we are on our way to adoption, although it really doesn't feel like it. We are working with an agency called Plan Loving Adoptions out of McMinnville, Oregon. So far we really like the people we have spoken with, although at this point we really haven't had too much contact with anyone.
So, the process goes something like this:

Mail in an application and wait to be approved to continue (give them a little $)
Take a pre-adopt class (learn about the difference between families joined through adoption vs childbirth)
Contract with the agency (give them lots of $$$)
Have a homestudy done - a social worker meets with us 4 times to determine if we get approved for adoption
Put a dossier together for China - lots of paperwork, dealing with the government, and more $$$
Receive an assignment of a child - decide whether to accept the assignment
Go to China to pick up new family member
Come back to US and meet with social worker more times
Live happily ever after :-)

Currently we are in the pre-adopt class stage. We are required to read 2 books and a manual and then answer a TON of questions. Most of the questions are short answer or essay, so I expect this will take us some time to complete. We can't even get started on the next step until we finish the course. Everything just feels so slow. I'm hoping we can finish up the course by the end of September........ Is it just wishful thinking?

The books are pretty interesting, especially one titled 20 things your adopted child wished you knew (or something like that). There is so much good food for thought in the book, mainly about how adoption loss effects even those children adopted as infants. Can you imagine being ripped away from the only human you have a connection with as soon as you enter this world? Your only comfort is the mother who carried you for 9 months and already she is gone. I wish that our child didn't have to go through that pain before coming to us.

2005-08-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

Speaking of our current family, just thought I would share a photo of the cat and the dog in their favorite positions. Hobbes (cat) thinks that Frisbee (dog) is his girlfriend (both are male). Frisbee is not too happy with the situation, but is tolerant when he is sleeping.

Can we start a family?

2005-08-18T18:14:00.000-07:00

Patrick and I have been living in Eugene now for over a year. We have bought a house and have filled it with family of pets. While a dog and 3 cats seems like enough of a family for some, it is really time to start a human family. Actually, we have been trying to do just that for over a year now with, obviously, no success. Aparently, it runs in the family, although I didn't know that until just last night. Sure wish someone had told me that a long time ago, maybe I would have started sooner :-).
Actually, it all falls right into my big plans for life. Well, sort of. I've always loved children, but never thought I would have my own BIOLOGICAL, children. There are so many children out there who need families and the world is really too overpopulated anyhow. So, we've decided to go the route of adoption.
Adoption, it turns out, is quite a lengthy and involved process. We have decided to adopt from China, because they seem to have such a large number of unwanted girls and because the process seems the most streamlined. Currently, we are trying to just decide which adoption agency we will go through.
So, over the next year and a half I will try to blog about our experience!
Cheers!

Isla Mujeres

2005-01-21T16:56:00.000-08:00

Cec and I came to Isla Mujeres yesterday and have spent the day sunning ourselves and eating lots of tacos. I must say that I am a bit disappointed with how touristy this island is. Really I should expect it by now. At the very least it is a very laid back place with little harassment from the local vendors. However, I will be glad to leave tomorrow.
Tomorrow we head for Tullum - the Mayan ruins on the water. Probably won´t be able to escape the tourist scene just yet, but we are working our way away from the worst of it. It looks like our travel plans take us down to the very south of the Yucatan peninsula (Caribbean coast) close to Belize and then back north on the Gulf coast side. Hoping to find some jungle hut away from the masses!

In the "New World" (Mexico)

2005-01-19T14:57:00.000-08:00

Well, I have certainly done a terrible job of keeping up on the blog after returning to normal life. But this trip presents a new opportunity for redemption.

Yes, I am in Mexico! Cancun to be exact. Just arrived this afternoon but I plan on leaving this awful town by tomorrow. I am on this trip as a sort of last hurrah before starting a more serious life back in Eugene, whatever that is suppose to me. I´ll let you decide.

Cecily is meeting me here tonight for a 2 week vacation of beaches, temples, diving, and anything else we can think of. Probably a few cervesas will be involved.
Cancun is anything but a Mexican town. I did manage to take the public bus from the airport into downtown with mostly locals and a couple of Italian girls. The just arrived after 30 hours of travel from Bologna, which included an overnight in the NY airport. I remember those days......
The bus is about the most Mexican thing I have observed yet. This place is overrun with Gringoisms. Just on the short drive to town we passed a Walmart, a Home Depot, and an Outback Steakhouse. Huh? Who wants to eat there when you´re in Mexico. I´m just waiting for the Taco Bell around the corner. Phew, thank god for the little luxuries, I wouldn´t want to go somewhere different. I do understand that this is what Cancun is - a playground for tourists who don´t want to experience local culture. Get me outta here ASAP!
Tomorrow we may head for Isla Mujeres or perhaps just jump on a bus for anywhere else.
Anybody with suggestions please email them to me as apparently internet is no problem here.

hasta manana

Shula

Hobbes

2004-11-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

Hobbes,
originally uploaded by shumeet.

And of course, Hobbes. We think he may be a little daft, but we love him just the same. This guy has quite a motor on him!

Frisbee

2004-11-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

Frisbee,
originally uploaded by shumeet.

Frisbee the dog. We didn't name him, but Frizzle-bee seems to work like a charm. He's a very loving and fairly well behaved dog (unless he spots a squirril, then there is no telling what he'll do)

New Home

2004-11-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

New Home,
originally uploaded by shumeet.

Here is a photo of our living and dining area. It is a small, but cozy, house and we love it!

Our new home

2004-11-07T19:47:00.000-08:00

Back by popular demand........
The Life and Times of Patrick and Shula as domesticated people.

It turns out that SOME of our friends use our blog page as their only connection with our lives. So, in order not to dissapoint, we will continue blogging here. I think it is only fitting to not contaminate our trip blog site.

Patrick and I are now happily settled into life in Eugene, Oregon! It was an amazing turn of events that Patrick managed to land a job here. I had told him while we were in Iceland that the only way I would consider moving back to the U.S. was if we lived in Oregon, and here we are. As you know from following our travel blog, he applied for the job while we were basking in the sunshine on a Thai beach, drinking tropical drinks and having daily massages. We fretted through Burma wondering if he would miss a call from Probes. It wasn't until the middle of New Zealand that he actually got the call and we cut our trip short to return for an interview. Thankfully he landed the job and our journey had a happy ending.

Here we now are! We have bought a house in downtown Eugene and have started a small family of sorts - 2 cats and a dog.
I will update this post shortly! Please check back.